The Newcomer

The four men and one woman stood in a circle, humming slightly out of tune. They stared down at the chalk drawn circle and the line drawn down its middle that was just a little off from being perfectly centered. Their robes were crafted from the finest, itchiest wool that bitcoin could buy.

The Leader scratched his chin beard and stood back from the circle. “Brothers and sister,” He said with a grin. “Let us begin. I’m sure you noticed that we have someone new amongst our ranks tonight. He—“

“I didn’t notice,” The woman said as she swooped her multi-colored hair away from her heavily made up face.

“Nor did I,” The nasally man spoke out.

The Leader cleared his throat. “Yes, well—“

“I’d noticed, but didn’t bother to mention it,” The man with the chewing tobacco said.

“Enough,” The Leader said sternly, but then winked at them with a little smirk. “Anyway, let us begin. Sister, what was your accomplishment this week?”

She approached the circle, her heels screeching along the cement. “Any time I received a mass work email, I replied all. Everyone at my company received all of my acknowledgements. It was glorious!”

“Indeed!” The Leader said. “Glorious indeed. Thank you. Who’s next?”

“I’ll go,” Chewing tobacco said. “There I was, waitin’ in traffic. I was turnin’ left, and we finally got that sweet green arrow. I could see the cars behind me revvin’ with anticipation. But I waited. Seconds passed, but still I wait. And as the light turned yellow, and the horns, they were bellowin’, I stomped on the gas and turned just as it was goin’ red! Man, were they angry!”

“As always, you shine, brother,” The Leader said.

“It was a slow week for me,” Nasal said with a sigh. “But I did view all of my facebook messages, so they knew I’d seen them, and then I didn’t reply.”

“Every little bit counts, brother,” The Leader said. He turned his attention to the new face, who was texting under the hood of his robe. “And now for our newcomer. Brother, what did you accomplish this week?”

“Huh?” Newcomer said. He looked up and noticed that all eyes were on him. He laughed anxiously, putting his phone away. “Uh…yeah, I forgot to do that.”

Silence. The Leader looked at the others, and then cleared his throat. “You were told that, in order to join, you’d have to—“

“Yeah,” Newcomer shrugged. “I forgot. Sorry.”

“But…” The Leader looked to the others.

The woman shook her head. “You can’t just…”

Chewing tobacco spat. “That’s so…”

A hush in the room, and then the Leader smiled.

“That’s so annoying. Brothers and Sister, welcome our newcomer to The Society of the Annoying.”