The Supreme Leader

If I ruled the world, I wouldn't exactly be me. I would be a goddess. An omnipotent governing power created to look the human race in the eye and say, "No. That is stupid. We're doing things my way or climate change will destroy this world, that is if World War III doesn't get you first."

My first order of buisness in ruling the world would be to get rid of climate change. As an omnipotent being, it would be within my power to reset the environment to a safer module and all man-made items creating carbon emmissions would instantly implode. Of course, there would be a warning that this would happen, so people could escape their cars and not die.

Humanity would have to find sustainable energy sources because there would be no alternative. Anyone who complains can have a free solar panel to shut them up. Bribary is tolerated if it makes annoying people stop bugging me.

Secondly, any weapons that would be used in the event of a World War III would also implode. If people are hurt or killed in this implosion, it's just natural selection. They shouldn't've kept that nuke behind their fridge.

Now that it would take considerable effort for humanity to go extinct in the near future, I would hire an intern to see about other problems I should address and compile a list of free stuff people should give me now that I am their ruler.

As the ruler of the Earth I would also become the ruler of the Moon. If the Moon already has a ruler, I'll kick them out. I have the bigger floating chunk of space rock under my control so I get the smaller one as well. The Moon would become my planet. I mean, first I'd have to give it an atmosphere and make it habitable and whatnot, but then it would be mine. Avaland, the fictional country I've ruled since birth, would become real. The only country on Avaworld, the incredibly creative name I came up with so long ago I couldn't tell you when. It has just always been called that.

Citizenship in Avaland is by invite only. If you aren't a citizen you can visist for an hour a year for an exorbant sum of money, and I have the right to refuse you entry. I can do this as the Supreme Leader of Avaland. Annoying people from Earth would be sent south, to the Swamps wherin lie the Avagators. And the Wugawumpa.

Something I must profess is that Avaland is not a vanity project. I do not slap my name on everything to make me feel better about myself or because I feel superior to all others. See, to a five-year-old, Avagators and a Wugawumpa seem like excellent, clever, origional names to give to swmp dwelling creatures. And, I would hate to change somethings name after several years. I feel it would give them an identity crisis.

After Avaland was thriving I would return to my intern, see what changes must be made, meddle a bit and go to sleep. I would sleep during the day, and stay awake all night. That is my natural sleep-cycle but, school tends to get in the way of me becoming a full-fledged vampire. And, I can think of no alternative reason to my bizarre habits that include but are not limited to being nocturnal and being unable to outside in sunlight without facing immense pain.

Once my meddlings were complete, I'd give my intern a raise for putting up with me and retire to Avaland. If the humans wanted to kill each other now, I don't care. I've got my own planet and all the people I actually like live there. If the human race was going to go extinct or blow up the planet, I'd step in. But I believe it's only natural selection if people die going to war over a cow. ( http://www.burnpit.us/2010/05/battle-jumonville-glen-%E2%80%9Ci-heard-bullets-whistle%E2%80%A6%E2%80%9D second to last paragraph)

Anarchist Democratic Dictatorship. Welcome to Avaland, please enjoy your stay.

The Supreme Leader of Avaland

(ask for an invite if interested in citizenship)