Twisted Hand of Fate

I’ve lost track of the days. The fighting on both sides had been fierce. The casualties are mounting and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. As we move in on the enemy position, I get cut off from my unit. The gun fire, the loud noises, the bombs going off, it all contributes to my disorientation until I am not sure where I am. This is bad. This is really bad. I look for some cover to give my self some time to get my bearings. That’s when I see her. She is wearing a military uniform and carrying a gun. Before she can see me I duck into a hole in the geography and I wait.

I had been drafted. They trained me for 3 weeks and put me in the infantry. Everybody joked that we were just cannon fodder but it was no joke. The casualty rates for the infantry were 14 times higher than for any other personel type.. The higher up’s have no problem ordering you to your death either. Whatever needs to be done to secure victory, that was what they drilled into us. We didn’t like any of it. We spent our time just trying not to die. I guess you could say that is the main goal of anyone fighting in a war. Not dying I mean. You don’t want to die for your country, you want to make the other person die for theirs. I didn’t see any honor in dying for a war that was started in the halls of government for no other reason than for greed. So far I had beaten the odds, the thing is the odds catch up with you. Numbers don’t lie and the math catches up with everybody eventually.

This woman was advancing on my position. I didn’t see a reason to kill anyone if I could help it so I was just praying to whatever diety that actually exists that she would go a different direction, but perhaps it wasn’t in their interest to answer my prayer because the woman kept coming toward me. When she got close enough I jumped her and plunged my hunting knife into her combat uniform in the place where her heart should be. The knife glanced off and she didn’t suffer any wounds. I wasn’t sure what had happened. She pulled out a revolver and fired it at me at point blank range but it didn’t go off. I guess it must have gotten jammed. So I guess we both got lucky. I put my knife away and we started to engage in hand to hand combat. We traded shots but it was strange. Nothing we did seemed to hurt the other person or give one of us the advantage.

Then it occured to me. This women must be the one. The one I had been looking for my entire life. The one who was meant to complete my life. I grabbed her head with both my hands and I kissed her. Her eyes grew wide as she finally realized what was happening. She pulled away and a look of horror filled her features. It was clear to both of us that our hand to hand combat had concluded with a draw, but another war, a more personal war was still being waged. The woman looked at me with hate in her eyes. I was the enemy. How could I be the one she was suppose to spend the rest of her life with? I could see she understood what was going on and I could see the war going on inside of her mind.

I approached her again. As I did she took step away from me. “I can’t hurt you” I said out loud. “I belong to you. I’ve always belonged to you. You know that I’m yours.”

“You’re the enemy!” she screamed, “I want to kill you. How can you possibly be the one I’m suppose to love?”

“I don’t know” I responded, “I only know it is and you know it too. I’m the only one that will make you happy. Do you want to give that up for the sake of a war that you and I are only pawns in.” She took out a pair a hand cuffs and threw them at me.

“Put these on.” she ordered, “If you want to be with me, you’ll do it as my prisoner.”

“That’s crazy. We should desert. Let them fight their war without us. Let’s go somewhere and be happy.” I protested.

“Put them on” she ordered again. I thought for a moment, is this the only way? If I became a prisoner of war, what was going to happen to me? Would I live to see the end of the fighting? If I became a prisoner, I wouldn’t have to fight anymore and the war does have to end eventualy.Would I suffer shame in my own country? Would that matter if I was dead? I could cheat the odds. I pick up the handcuffs and put them on.

She tells me to move to a certain direction and I start walking. She walks behind me. I don’t hear the fighting anymore and wonder what the state of the battle is. We pass bodies that use to be warm, but are now a tribute to the cold realities of war. It seems like we walked for a considerable distance when we reach a soldiers camp. The enemy had set up this camp as a base for nearby operations. I am taken to the officer in charge and he assigns the woman who captured me as my guard. She doesn’t seem happy with the assignment but she isn’t going to disobey orders. I can see that the brainwashing techniques of the enemy have been very effective and I can’t help but be impressed by them. I smile and I can tell she want’s to smack the smile off my face but she knows she can’t.

I’m loaded onto a truck and the woman who is the very reason for my existence is responible for taking me to a more secure location for interogation. As the driver takes us away, I whisper to her that we still had the opportunity to run away together. She reamined silent and was committed to fulfilling her duty to her country. It was admirable even if her loyalty was misplaced. Once we reached the facility, I was taken to a small room with a bright light in it. I was ordered to sit down on a small folding chair. I complied with my orders. The bright light was positioned so I couldn’t see who was asking me questions.

They asked me questions I could not even begin to understand, let alone answer so I attempted to explain to them that I was cannon fodder and that I wasn’t allowed to possess real information. I told them my last position and explained I was cut off from my unit. I was so disoriented that I didn’t know which way to go. They continued asking me questions and finally they decided that maybe I was telling them the truth. I certainly couldn’t spill the beans if I didn’t know anything.

I was put in a cell and I decided to settle in. The guard’s came by in regular intervals and after awhile I could tell what time a day it was by when the guards came around. One of the guards asked me why I looked so happy. I responded that I wasn’t walking through mud and being shot at anymore and that I considered my current situation a step up from that. The guard looked at me like I was crazy. The woman who had by this time filled my every waking thought never did come around to see me. I was hoping that she wasn’t back at the front. I wanted her to be safe so that when the war was over, we could start our magical life together.

It was true that I didn’t know anything about this woman, but if the cosmos said we were a match made in heaven, that was good enough for me. I didn’t waste a lot of time pondering the deep questions of the universe. A lot of crazy stuff happens and that’s just the way life is, trying to figure it out isn’t going to change anything. I could tell that the woman of my dreams was fighting that internal battle. She knew I was the one who would make her happy but she may be willing to give up happiness for the sake of the war. Either way I was getting 2 meals a day and I didn’t have to do nothing. Well that isn’t exactly true, They still questioned me but they didn’t put files under my fingernails or anything like that. After a while I figured they just questioned me for the sake of it, they knew I didn’t possess any real information. After spending about three weeks there, I was transfered to a prison and joined other prisoner’s of war.

It is the duty of every prisoner to escape and while there were some who felt that way. Nobody really cared to escape and go back to being pawns in a meaningless war. We were secure here. We were fed. We didn’t have to do anything and we weren’t being mistreated. I suppose in times past, the mistreatment of prisoner’s was common, but now it was unnessecary. With the mind control techniues available today, information could get extracted easily and often without the prisoner even realizing it. So there was no reason to mistreat them. We were just here taking up space waiting for the war to end.

I didn’t have a family to go back to so I wasn’t really all that upset about my current situation. The food was okay and I got regular exercise. I really didn’t need anything else except for the woman of my dreams. I just knew she would come someday. I had to hold on to that hope. I know she had to be thinking about me. In time maybe she will give in to fate and when she does, she will know where to find me.

Months pass. The enemy tells us about victory after glorious victory and that the war will soon be over with them as the winners. We realize that this is done to demoralize us but the truth is we don’t care who wins their stupid war. It doesn’t matter who is in control, the fate of the ‘little’ people is always the same. I have settled in very nicely. I have become acquainted with the other prisoners and we do our best to make a life for ourselves right where we are.

Then one day it happens. I get a visitor. My heart starts racing when I’m informed by the guard. As I’m led to a room I see her. The woman that had captured not only me but my heart as well was standing there. We sit down opposite each other. For awhile she doesn’t say anything. She just looks me over. Then she finally speaks.

“How are they treating you?” She asks nervously

“I’m treated pretty good, actually” I respond.

“I’m glad. I know you don’t get any real news in here but the war is almost over.” She informs me.

“The diplomats have all been shoved into a tiny room and have been told to figure it out” She says with a hint of disgust in her voice.

“Don’t you want peace?” I asked her

“I want victory!” She says almost screaming.

“I’ve been thinking about you all the time and I just have to ask you a question” She states.

“Okay” I respond, “Ask your question.”

“Why did you do it?” She asks.

“Why did I do what?” I ask back.

“Why did you surrender to me?” She clarifies.

“Because you are my entire reason for living. You and I are meant to be together. Without you, life doesn’t mean anything.” I state passionately.

“How could you accept that so quickly?” She follows up.

“Because it’s true and we both know it. You just have to accept it now.”

She doen’t say anything further but abruptly gets up and leaves.

Several months pass by again and we are informed that the war is over and that one of the stipulations is that all the prisoner’s from each side be returned to their own country and just like that I find myself back home. The thing is I don’t want to be home, I want to be with the one that I was meant for. I desperately search for a way to get back into the country of our former enemy but I’m told travel had been restricted.

So I go back to life as if the war had never happened, as if I never found my soulmate.

Years pass and finally travel between the two countries is allowed. I have no idea where to go, I have no idea where to look. It seems hopeless. My friends have all found their matches and everyone has started having children except for me. They all know what had happened because I had told them years ago. They all try and encourage me and tell me not to lose hope but I don’t know what to do. I don’t even have a name to try and track down. Just a face I can’t keep out of my mind.

More years pass. With my hope faded I just go through the motions of life, just existing. Whatever passion I had before had since died inside of me. My friends look at me and shake their heads. To find one’s true love but to never be united with them is a horrible weight to carry around. They feel pity for me.

One day someone comes into the place where I work, spending the remaining time I have left. They say someone is new in town and that the person has been asking about me. I feel a tiny spark ignite inside of me. A glimmer of hope arises. I asked to be taken to this person. I am led out into the street and I see her. I can hardly believe my eyes. When she sees me she runs toward me and throws her arms around me. She kisses me deeply and I start sobbing.

“It’s okay” she says, trying to comfort me,“I’ve been looking for you everywhere and now that I’m here, I won’t ever let you go.” We melt into each other and all the years of pain washes away like the dust after the rain.