s o m e t i m e s . . .
sometimes
i wake up
at night
alone
scared
and missing you
craving your touch
craving you
but only
sometimes
often i go back and forth
between liking you
and hoping you fall off the face of the Earth
other times i'm somewhere in the middle
and that makes sense to me
because i never had you
so how could i have lost you
thats what i think
but only sometimes
i miss being able
to want you
i miss us hiding the truth
but showing each other flashes
of it
i miss knowing
my positioning with you
i miss you
but only
sometimes
i'm sorry that it wasn't supposed
to happen
i'm sorry i didn't see
why
it wouldn't work
i'm sorry
i pushed you
but only
sometimes
i don't talk because
everything i want
to say
i know i can't
but i still wish
i could say it anyway
i want to talk
really talk
to you
but only
sometimes
did you know
that i imagine
a reality
where
neither of us
is scared
neither of us
is confused by
the other
but also
neither of us
wants the other
but only
sometimes
i still have hope
that what fell apart
never really did
just cracks waiting
to be filled
by having
the other one
i wonder if you
think about that too
but only
sometimes