Reflection

When I look into the mirror,

I hate who stares back at me.

I hate the girl who I know is me,

She stares back at me like she is expecting something.

Something great,

Something that is not what she sees

When she looks at me..

I hate the girl who looks back at me.

Her eyes so broken and pained,

The girl who is looking for some way to repent for all of her mistakes.

The girl who feels like she isn’t good enough.

I hate the girl in the mirror who has my body.

Covered in scars,

Plagued by too many rolls.

I hate the way her eyes darken when she stares at my body in the mirror,

I hate the memories that flood back from over the years,

I hate that I can see why people avoid me.

I hate the girl who stares back at me in the mirror,

Because she is who I don’t want to be.

I don’t want to be the girl who gets looked over or used,

I don’t want to be the girl who gets laughed at,

I don’t want to be the girl who gets asked if I am pregnant in the store,

I don’t want to be the girl who can’t look at clothes without

Feeling like she’d never look good,

Feeling like she’d only make herself look worse,

Feeling like it wouldn’t hide what she hates about her body,

Feeling like she shouldn’t bother.

I don’t want to be the girl that gets hurt by her family because of how she looks,

I don’t want to be the girl who can’t look at her reflection for more than a few seconds

Without wanting to hide her body from the world.

I hate the girl who is my reflection,

Because she shows me.

She shows what I try to hide,

What I pretend I’m okay with.

I hate the girl looking back at me…

Because we both know we won’t ever be satisfied…

Because we both know we aren’t happy.

I hate the girl who looks back at me,

Because she is me