Sugar
“What did the weatherman say?”
“He said there is only a slim chance of a white Christmas. But a slim chance is still a chance.”
“Do you mean to tell me I drove all the way up from Pickens, South Carolina to see snow and we ain’t gonna get no damn snow? Damn girl. You told me we were gonna spend a white Christmas together all cozied up by the fireplace, sipping on cocoa and some of that there eggnog stuff you Northern people like to drink at the holidays. Didn’t even get 15 mpg on my pick up, and the damn EZ pass was hotter than hot with all them damn tolls. They be robbin people blind up here, not to mention the traffic congestion. How do you get by up here? I could a been catching me some damn catfish right now, castin and chillin, eatin a free meal, but no. Are you gonna make it up to me with some sugar? What you got for big Pappa?”
“I don’t know what to tell you. Remember you contacted me first on the dating website. You said you didn’t mind traveling to meet someone like me and now I’m sorry you came up. Sounds like you were looking for snow and instead you will settle for some sugar. Don’t do me any favors. Why don’t you just go back to your catfish in your damn redneck town.”
“Whoa. Hey girl. Easy with that talk. Don’t you know better than to get a redneck mad? Just kidding. Just kidding. I like to kid. You will have to get to know my sense of humor. I don’t need no damn snow. All I want to do is get to know you. Let’s go out back a get some wood for the fireplace and settle in for some romance. I’m sorry. There is nothing about you that I’m settling for. Just a little disappointed about the weather forecast, but no big deal. It ain’t your fault. My niece is the one that got me all worked up about the snow in NY. She wants me to bring her back a snowball! She kept showing me pics of people playing in the snow. There was this one of a pretty woman in a purple coat that I gotta say looked a little like you. The snowflake landed on her nose and all I wanted to do at that point was drop everything and come run up and here and kiss that snowflake. It’s really not about the snow Sugar. It’s about you. Now give me some sugar, Sugar. The snow can wait, but I can’t.”