Harry Situation Reviews: Escape Room
The first movie of 2019 I review, and it’s already a contender for the worst movie of the year.
Escape Room is the new suspense thriller based around those popular escape rooms that you seen popping up around the world now. You ever done one of those? For those who don’t know, an escape room is a large game where you, your friends and family, and some strangers are locked inside a room and you have to solve a variety of puzzles in order to escape under a time limit. I’ve done one. It’s fun. And now they made a movie off it.
The story is that six strangers are locked in several rooms together and have to escape it. But the catch is that the rooms are actually death traps and they must escape with their lives while solving puzzles under a time limit. Basically, it’s Saw meets Jumanji.
This movie is fucking terrible. My god, I barely liked anything in this movie.
The escape rooms are pretty inventive, I’ll give the film that much credit. The first room is about fire, so it starts turning into a giant oven. The second room is about cold, so the temperature starts dropping and there’s ice everywhere. The third room is really inventive where everything is upside down.
The characters, however, are insufferable. We’re supposed to hope they survive in the end but the treat each other like assholes. Why would I want to support any of them? They constantly insult each other and constantly berate one another as much as they try to work together to survive. Honestly, if the rooms didn’t kill them, they would have killed each other by the end. Even the main girl, who you see on all the posters, who I guess is supposed to be our main character, is really annoying. Probably doesn’t help that some of the acting felt pretty stale and forced.
There’s no suspense in this film. There’s no thrills in this film. Even if it looked like they were on the brink of death, I did not care about what was going on at all. It’s all a borefest. And that’s too bad because I feel there could have been moments that should have left me at the edge of my seat, but it never does that. That’s probably because I never felt anything for the characters.
But the ending, oh shit, the ending was what killed this movie for me. It opens up a doorway of questions that never get answered, and all it does is try to bait itself for a sequel. I wanted to scream at this movie. I mean, WHAT!?!? ARE YOU SHITTING WITH THIS?!?!
I was at least fair with this movie. I didn’t know anything about it, and I didn’t read or watch any reviews on it. I went in with a blank slate, and I felt really bitter. I was surprised when I looked on Rotten Tomatoes to find that it currently sits at 52% from critics and 63% from audiences.
All I can say about it is that if you go and see this movie and you end up liking it, that’s fine. I personally did not like this movie at all. I found it joyless and boring, and that’s my opinion alone. You’re better off partaking in an actual escape room than this movie any time.
Positives:
-Inventive rooms
Negatives:
-Annoying assholes
-Some stale acting
-No suspense or thrills
-Boring
-The ending
-Worst 2019 movie so far
Final Grade: F
Alright, that’s my first 2019 movie review. Remember, any horror films or suspense film released in the month of January are likely not going to be good.
Any who, have you seen this movie? What were your thoughts? Please be kind, leave a like and comment, and be on the look out as for more reviews this year in 2019!!!
Best Quote:
Danny: “Wow. I feel like I’m playing the world’s funnest game with the world’s meanest people.”
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