Drowning

Burying a loved one is never easy. Tears are expected, condolences anticipated. You spend days thinking about the person you just buried six feet below the ground, reliving every moment spent with them. But burying four loved ones?

It was unimaginable.

Painful.

Heartbreaking.

Years could pass, but the pain would always be there. It would never truly go away.

And that’s what worried Nicole and Kevin Aldrich as they stared at their nieces sleeping form. It was only a matter of time before she woke up from a nightmare, the rude awakening by her subconscious a routine the past two weeks.

The older couple moved away from the bedroom, softly closing the door behind them. Boxes littered the hallway, the young girl putting off unpacking her belongings.

“She’s starting to lose weight.” Nicole commented, chewing on her lower lip worriedly. “She needs to eat. This isn’t healthy.”

“We can’t force food down her throat, honey.”

“But we can’t let her starve.”

“She’s not starving,” he assured her. She gave him a look that clearly said she didn’t believe him, and he leaned forward to place a soft kiss on her forehead. Nicole wrapped her arms around her husband, needing the warmth of his hold. “She’s gonna be okay, Nic. She’ll get through this.” He gently ran his hand over her hair. “So will you.”

Tears welled up in her eyes, her emotions bubbling over as she allowed them to roll freely down her cheeks. “I still can’t believe they’re gone. My big sister is gone. And John, he was like my brother.” A sob escaped her throat. “Anna and Ben...they were just children. Who would want to hurt innocent kids?”

“I don’t know,” he sighed, his heart breaking for his wife. “I just don’t know.”

Tears stained his white t-shirt as Nicole buried her face in his chest, continuing to break down. “It’s not fair. It’s not fair.”

Kevin hated seeing his wife like this. When they had gotten the call about her sister and their family...he had never seen her cry like that. She had fallen to the floor, the phone beside her as tears continuously rolled down her cheeks. Her cheeks had taken a pale tint, and her lungs had struggled to take in oxygen.

He knew something terrible had happened just from the sight before him.

“Maybe you two should talk to a therapist.” He suggested, gauging her reaction.

He wasn’t surprised when she immediately shook her head. She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt, hands slightly trembling. “Talking won’t help, Kev. If she won’t talk to us, her own family, there’s no way in hell she’ll talk to a stranger. And we can’t force her to do something she doesn’t want.”

“Maybe starting school will help,” he shrugged. “She’ll meet new people, make some new friends.”

“She stopped talking to her best friend back home.” Nicole pointed out. “It breaks my heart to say it, but I don’t think she’ll ever be the same.”

~*~

Charlotte, North Carolina was different than the Big Apple. While New York was always bustling with people at ungodly hours, Charlotte was the opposite. Erin Clayton never needed the sound of an alarm to wake her up, not until she moved. She enjoyed the loud noises, as odd as that sounded.

But as of two weeks ago, she didn’t enjoy much of anything.

Reaching over to shut her blaring alarm, Erin slowly sat up, using her palms to rub her bleary eyes. Like clock work, she had woken up in the middle of the night to her usual nightmare, leaving her panting and dripping in sweat.

Glancing at the time, she internally groaned, the urge to crawl back under the covers and sleep the day away strong. But that’s all she ever wanted to do; sleep. And cry. Sleep, cry, sleep, cry...that had been her routine since the day her whole life changed.

Dragging her body out of bed she trudged to the bathroom, turning on the water of the shower and allowing steam to fill up the small space. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, barely able to recognize herself. Her eyes that practically sparkled were now lifeless, empty. The smile that she always had painted on her face was gone, erased from existence.

Erin could spend hours in the shower, letting the hot water hit her skin. It was her sanctuary, the one place no one would bother her. It left her alone with her thoughts. She would sit on the tiled floor, her head bent, and just let the water cascade over her naked body. Then she would cry. Cry her eyes out and allow her tears to mix with the water as it traveled down the drain.

She desperately wanted to follow after it.

Today was her first day at her new school, thanks to her aunt and uncle. They believed that getting out of the house and meeting new people would help her deal with things. It had barely been three weeks since she lost her family. How could they think she would move on so quickly? She wasn’t so sure she would move on at all.

She reluctantly climbed out of the shower, grabbing the fluffy towel off the hook to wrap around her body. Grabbing another one for her hair, she wrapped it around her head. Her movements felt robotic as she reached for her toothbrush, dropping a glob of toothpaste onto the bristles.

Going to school and being dubbed the new student was the last thing she wanted to do. She didn’t want to meet new people, make new friends. All she wanted to do was stay home and sleep. And yet she forced herself to get dressed, not bothering to put in any effort in her outfit. She settled on sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt, finishing her ensemble off with her worn out converses. She wasn’t looking to make a first impression; she didn’t care what anyone thought of her.

Grabbing her nearly empty backpack, she hiked it over her shoulder and stepped out of her room. She glanced at her barren walls, the emptiness of her room matching her soul. In New York, her bedroom was covered with photos of her friends and family, the walls painted a nice shade of blue.

Her new bedroom had taken a drastic change, but so had she.

Erin bounded down the stairs, the smell of fresh pancakes and bacon immediately wafting up her nose. Normally the aroma of delicious breakfast would have her mouth salivating and her stomach growling, but her appetite had disappeared. She would occasionally nibble on a piece of fruit or some toast, but couldn’t will herself to eat an actual meal.

“Hey, honey.” Her aunt smiled warmly at her as she entered the kitchen, apron wrapped around her waist as she stood in front of the stove. “Are you hungry? Your uncle had to go to work early, so there’s plenty of food.”

“Not hungry,” Erin muttered.

Nicole’s smile faltered, and she let out a small sigh. She placed the last pancake onto a plate beside her, shutting off the stove’s fire. Untying the apron, she set it down on the counter and grabbed the plate of pancakes, placing it on the kitchen table as she took a seat. “Erin, you need to eat.”

“I’m not hungry.” She repeated.

Her voice was filled with finality, ending the discussion then and there. Her gaze was rested on the floor, but she could still feel her aunt’s eyes on her. They were filled with worry and concern, and she hated it. She didn’t want anyone looking at her like she was glass and could break at any moment. That’s all that anyone did from the moment the incident hit the news and she became an orphan.

She couldn’t even step outside without someone recognizing her, giving her those damn eyes that she had become accustomed to. She absolutely despised those that looked at her. And the ones that had the audacity to ask how she was doing? She screamed at them. She screamed until her throat burned, until her face turned red.

She didn’t have the energy to scream anymore.

Clearing her throat, Nicole forced herself to smile again. “Well, you better get going to school. Don’t want to be late on your first day.”

Erin nodded, getting to her feet. They felt like lead, heavy and unwilling to move.

“Do you want to borrow my car? I don’t plan on leaving the house today, so it’s no problem.”

“I’m just gonna take the bus.” Erin simply replied.

Nicole nodded, and leaned forward to kiss her niece’s cheek. “Try to have a good day, okay? I know this is hard for you, it’s hard for me too, but just try.” She gently brushed the back of her finger against her cheekbone. “Your parents would want you to have a good day and make new friends.”

Erin’s eyes immediately filled with tears at the mention of her parents. Unwilling to let them fall, she rapidly blinked and ripped herself out of her aunt’s grip, storming out of the house. Her chest rapidly rose and fell as she tried to control her breathing, wanting to prevent an anxiety attack. She had been terrified when she first experienced one, but they had become a regular occurrence that she almost expected them.

She was able to calm down by the time the bus arrived to take her to school. Gripping her bag a little tighter, she stepped onto the large vehicle. Eyes immediately fell on her as she walked down the tight aisle and grabbed the nearest empty seat, the bus driver barely giving her a chance to do so before he was speeding off down the street.

Having lived just a few minutes from her high school in New York, she had never ridden a school bus, always walking with her friends or her mom when she was little. She felt almost out of place, something she would be feeling all day.

Despite living in North Carolina for two weeks, she had yet to explore anything outside her bedroom. As she stared out the window of the bus, she noted how many trees there were, blurs of green whipping past. She couldn’t stop herself from cracking the smallest smile, her love of nature coming through. No matter where she went, she would always have nature.

It would never abandon her.

Lost in her own little world, Erin hadn’t noticed when the bus stopped at Providence high school. She waited for everyone to exit the bus before getting up herself, releasing a shaky breath. When the bus driver gave her a warm smile as she walked down the narrow aisle, she did her best to smile back.

Her lips barely twitched upwards.

You’ll be fine, she thought to herself, staring at the intimidating building in front of her. She didn’t understand why she was so nervous. It was just school, she could handle it. Yet her heart was hammering in her chest, a thin layer of sweat forming on her trembling hands.

She quickly glanced up at the sky, noting that there wasn’t a single cloud in sight. Was the beautiful weather a sign that her family was looking after her? She hoped so.

Providence high school was a pretty large school, over two thousand students attending. And as she walked through the double doors, the chatter hitting her ears instantaneously, she couldn’t help but agree. The school she had attended in New York was half the size, and she had known everyone in her senior class. She knew no one here, and that was terrifying.

Her aunt had informed her that she would have to report to the office once she got to school, but she found herself getting lost, student after student bumping into her. She felt so out of place, so lost. She could feel eyes on her as she maneuvered her way down the hall, desperately searching for the office. The last thing she wanted to do was ask for directions.

But then she found herself bumping into a hard chest, her nose making contact with the soft fabric of a shirt. Her gaze had been so focused on the tile floor that she hadn’t been paying attention as she walked. And as she looked up to meet the face of the person she had bumped into, her cheeks flushed, her ears burning with embarrassment.

Brown eyes stared down at Erin, eyebrows furrowed in a mixture of concern and amusement. “Are you okay?” The stranger asked.

Erin rubbed her nose, her face scrunching up in slight discomfort. She gave a quick nod, trying to not look at the random guy. She had gotten a quick glance at him when she backed away, and oh my. There was only one word processing through her head. Damn.

“I haven’t seen you around before,” the nameless guy commented, tilting his head to the side slightly. “First day?”Another nod. “Where are you headed?”

“Um, the office.” She mumbled, finally gaining her voice. She couldn’t believe she bumped into this guy, a complete stranger, because she couldn’t bother to pay attention.

“Oh, then you’re actually going the wrong way. Go back a little and then make a right. The office will be on your left.” He took a pause, then shrugged. “How about I walk you there so you don’t get lost again?”

Erin cleared her throat, hiking her backup higher up on her shoulder. “No, that’s okay. I can manage on my own.”

Before he could utter a reply, she turned on her heel and walked away. A sliver of guilt hit her, and she turned her head slightly to see him standing in the same spot. Rather than walk back over and apologize, she continued her trek to the office.

The day had barely begun, yet she wished it was over.