Change
You used to be everything I wanted
You used to be everything I needed
You once made me feel so alive
Talking to you always made me happier
Seeing you always made my day
But you changed
Or I changed
Or we both changed
Maybe now
I am just beginning to see the real you
Maybe now
I am not blinded by my infatuation
By my hope that you were different
By my desire to only see the good in you
Maybe now
I am truly allowing myself to see your wrongs
The things about you I know are toxic
The traits I mistakenly believed you possessed
Maybe now
You are not acting out of your own infatuation
No matter how momentary it was
Or how shallow and flimsy it turned out to be
Maybe now
I am seeing the you that everyone else sees
The naive and flawed human being that you are
Instead of the perfect superhuman I wished for
Maybe now
I am finally beginning to see the real you
But when was it that you saw the real me
And realized
That I was not what you wanted?
When did I change
From someone you said you couldn’t live without
From someone you promised you would never hurt
To someone you could forget?
To someone you could break?
When did I change
From someone you vowed you would always believe in and support
From someone you swore you would never leave
To someone not worth fighting for?
To someone not worth waiting for?
When did the truth stop mattering to you?
When did how I felt turn into something that meant nothing to you?
I wish I could know
I wish you would tell me
But I’m not sure I will ever understand
Because I’m not sure if I will ever even ask you
I will forever live with these questions
I will forever be left in this state of not knowing
I thought you were everything I wanted
I thought you were everything I needed
But I guess I was wrong
Because what I really wanted
What I truly needed above anything else
Was just to be wanted
To be needed
And now I know that you don’t want me
And you don’t need me
You changed
Or I changed
Or we both changed
And I still can’t tell if it is for the better