Door Knob Girl
Ten
I stare at my crooked teeth
My wild hair
My mismatched clothes
Purples and reds mixed
Rosy cheeks and scrapes knees
A door knob girl
Twelve
Sweatshirts are my friends
Cookies and chips
Shorter hair
Larger thighs
Boobs too big, they must be stuffed
Sweatshirts are my friends
Its summertime
Fourteen
Big
Too too big
You really shouldn’t eat that
Secret nighttime sit-ups
Don’t eat today
It will be okay.
Sixteen
Hide
Hide it all
This world is too cruel
The sky is grey
And so is the bottle of vodka
Rum is brown
The tequila is the only thing
That keeps me warm at night
I down the shots
After I stare in the mirror
Crying after throwing my face down the toilet
Screaming at the ugly girl in front of me
All I am is a crying question
Slowly devolving as answers float away
In the warmth
Eighteen
Just hold on a little long
Nothing is helping
Nothing is working
My head is fuzzy
All I know is this fat
This hate is a pile of bodies sitting on my chest
Pushing me down
Please
I’m so cold
My tears are the fire in my ice face
Please
I can’t breathe
I see her in the mirror
She should have stayed a happy door knob girl
She should have stayed
I should have stayed.