How am I still struggling with you

You're not here anymore

In my dreams

You've haunted me

But every time I wake

I'm alone again

How am I still tripping on you

When you're nowhere to be found

You know the words to say

To keep my heart bound

You're forbidden not forgotten

And I need to stop seeing you

Even if only in my heart

How do you keep me wrapped

How do you make my shake

I tremble

Knowing that knowing you is the absence of peace

I don't wanna struggle anymore

I'm so tired of the games you play

And the things you say

Your lies poison me at my core

But I'm addicted

I can't take it but I have to get more

I wanted to badly to be one

With you beyond eternity

But I know that it can't be

You'll never be in love with me

I'm in love with your ghost

I'm in love with your shadow

The imprints you left on my soul

How you imprisoned me in your empty promises

I'm addicted

And quitting you is killing me

In my dreams

You've haunted me

You've been my heaven and my hell

But I'm afraid there is nothing left of me to sell

My value was lost

My chances shot

I know you'll never be back

I know you'll never love me

So how am I still struggling with you

You're not here anymore

I'm so tired of the shame this struggle brings

I've been holding on so tight

I'm letting go tonight

I'm quitting you, and it is killing me

-ashleyanne