Keep Running

“Bet you can’t beat me in a race to that tree,” I smirked at my best friend Reece. He frowned, eyeing the distant tree at the end of the sidewalk with his soft, dark eyes.

“Bet I can.”

“Yeah right,” I shrugged off my backpack and dropped it on the grass. We were taking the usual shortcut home from school through our neighbourhood park. “You’re gonna lose. You always do.”

“Maybe not this time,” he argued and dropped his bag next to mine. He was three years older than me at sixteen, but a lot of the time I felt like I was older than him. We were tight friends— I treated him like an older brother and I was like his younger brother.

“I’m gonna tell mama you be dumping your bag on the ground all the time like that.” His nine-year-old sister called out as she walked behind us.

“You go ahead and tell mama, ugly.”

“I’m not ugly. You’re the one who’s ugly.”

“You’re uglier,” he retorted, then readied himself and looked over at me. “Ready?”

“Hold on.” I bent down and tied up my shoelaces. Mama’s always telling me to tie my laces before I trip up, but no matter how many times I tie them, they stay untied. I’ve got to say though, I’ve never actually tripped up on them. Guess my feet are just too fast for my shoes.

“You need a new pair of shoes,” Reece commented as he watched me. He was right. One had lost it’s sole, the seams at the bottom of them both had been ripped, now held together with dirty duct tape, and my laces were turning a dark brown instead of the milky white they were when I got them years ago. Their colour was beginning to fade too, from a bright green to a dirty brown.

“When I win that marathon and a hundred bucks,” I paused to straighten up. “I’m gonna buy myself a new pair of those red Nike runners they’re selling at the mall. Then I’ll be able to run so fast, not even the wind will be able to keep up with me.”

“Mhm,” Reece nodded in agreement. “Hey Elsie, count for us, will you?”

Elsie began counting. “On your marks, get set— Reece, back up for Lord’s sake!— get set, go!”

I gave him a good five-second head-start before starting off, my legs blurring, with the sun-baked sidewalk rushing beneath my feet.

“Go beat him, Shawn! You gonna beat him good!” She squealed, her cheers soon distant.

Reece was doing his best, but he just wasn’t as fast as me. I reached the tree in no time and waited for him. It took him forever before he nearly crashed against the trunk of the tree, chest heaving with gasps of air. In the distance behind us, I could hear his sister cheering.

“That’s another nickel you own me, man.” I punched his shoulder playfully. “How much you owe me now? Thirteen dollars? By this rate, I’ll have myself a new pair of those kicks before the marathon even starts.”

He was doubled over, hands on his knees. “Twelve dollars… and five cents.” He panted.

“Hey, Sh-shawn.” A familiar slow voice greeted me from ahead of us. I looked up to see the familiar face of homeless Old Mark sitting at his usual bench, scattering little pieces of bread for the birds and squirrels at his feet like he always did in the afternoon. His faded and worn cap looked tired in the sun, but the lopsided smile he wore was wider than ever, displaying wrinkles like many worn paths around his face.

“Y-y-our...your...your laces. They’re unt-t-tied.” He spoke slowly, stuttering over his words like he usually did. Mama says he’s got some kind of mental health issue because he’ll sometimes start singing or start crying out of nowhere, but everyone who knows him is nice to him. For the most part, he’s just an unlucky harmless old man with a bad stutter.

I bent down to tie my shoelaces again and stick on the duct tape harder.

“I s-s-saw...you tr-tr-training hard at-t-t the track earlier.” He spoke in his gritty voice.

As I tied my shoes, I noticed how he didn’t have any shoes on his feet. I straightened up beside Reece. Grey hairs sprinkled generously on the man’s once-dark beard.

“Yeah, I’m trying.” I glanced at his feet again. “What happened to your shoes?”

A sad smile edged on his lips and he shrugged his shoulders ruefully. “G-g-guess...I g-guess they fell off at some point. I-I don’t have enough money to g-get...get any new ones.”

Reece and I emptied our pockets of change and gave that to him, but there was hardly anything.

“Th-thanks, b-b-boys.” He grinned through his crooked teeth. “You’re g-good kids.”

***

The rest of the week was rainy. Clouds hanging heavily in the sky, peppering down stinging droplets wherever they could. Before walking with me to the track field, Reece came over to my place and gifted me a new pair of shoes he’d found in his closet. He said that they were too small for his growing feet and he never liked their white colour, anyway. I stuffed my old shoes at the back of my own closet and prayed that I would never need to wear them again.

After that, I only wore the white shoes when I ran. It was raining hard one day when I went running at the track again. Halfway through my laps, I called over at Reece for the time and realized that Jacob and a few of his friends were standing beside him. Jacob was talking to Reece in a low voice, and Reece looked mighty steamed. When I jogged over to them, my shoes slipped on wet grass. I saw Jacob look over at me just in time to see me slip and land hard on my back.

His loud laughter reached my ears as I steadied myself and rose back to my feet, trying to smear off the mud and messy grass stains. Reece’s once-white shoes were covered in mud and wet grass. My feet felt wet as the brown water seeped through the shoes generously.

“Nice skills, loser,” Jacob commented with a smirk as he watched me get up. Reece was quiet, dark eyes hard like steel. I hoped he hadn’t noticed how bad his shoes looked now.

“You want to see a loser?” I shot back at him acridly. “Go look in the nearest mirror.”

“At least I’m not as slow as you in a race.” He shot back.

“Oh yeah?” I nodded. “Let’s have a race. Then you’ll see who’ll be eating mud!”

“Sure,” he answered. “Are you ready to lose?”

“You’re ready to lose,” I muttered, and walked back towards the track, wiping the rain running down my face with the front of my shirt.

Reece called us out to ready ourselves and then shouted go.

Jacob was right beside me as we took off, shoes pounding against the wet ground. My breaths came in protesting gasps and the stitch in my side springing to painful life once more.

My weary legs started losing their pace after a while. The gloomy rain seemed to hold me back. Jacob was suddenly a stride ahead of me and I was falling behind those long legs of his. My chest ached as I tucked my chin down and pushed harder. The next thing I knew, my foot slipped and the ground was rushing up to meet me hard. I lay there unmoving, trying to ignore the pain that screamed up my scraped elbows. My muddy backside hurt so much it felt numb.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Jacob should have been the one to slip. I waited until Reece was standing over me before I sat up on my elbows. My foot screamed in pain as I tried to sit up.

“Y’alright, man? It looked like you fell down pretty hard.”

Distant laughter came from Jacob and his friends. I tried hard to not look their way.

“Eat mud, loser!” Jacob called through the rain. More laughter punctuated his words.

Gritting my teeth together, I unlaced my shoe with trembling fingers and tugged it off. Caked in slippery mud and grass, my shoes looked beyond hope.

I tried to lift my foot. I could hardly feel my toes. My ankle was fast swelling in a growing lump.

Tears tickled the corners of my eyes, warm and salty, mixed by the peppering precipitation falling from the heavens. I didn’t want to cry in front of Reece, but my ankle throbbed painfully. The nasty plum-coloured bruise was already starting to surface on my skin.

“Man, Shawn. That looks bad.” He spoke through his teeth.

I looked up at my friend and took another deep breath. “You think I’d still be able to run?”

His jawline was set hard, eyes not meeting mine. “Shawn, I doubt you can even walk like this.” He tried to help me to my feet gently. “C’mon, let’s get you home.”

I picked up my shoe and slung my arm over his shoulder for support. My first step sent pain shooting up my leg so hard I nearly cried out. I took the next step with more care. Just as we were leaving the park, somebody called us. We turned around to see Old Mark calling after me. His clothes were heavy with rain, his grey hair unkept and tangled. I guess he’d lost the cap that he usually wore because I noticed a large bald spot on his head for the first time.

“Sh-shawn, are you ok-kay?” He asked, wiping the rain splattering on his face.

“I think...I think I sprained my ankle pretty badly.” I looked down at my foot.

“I th-thought...I th-thought...that’s what I s-s-saw h-happen.”

I saw Reece glance at Old Mark’s feet, which were still bare and splattered with mud.

“Your feet ain’t cold like that, Mark?” Reece asked gently, his words followed by a heavy boom of thunder cracking the air. A harsh breeze swept the ground with a curtain of pounding rain. My foot started to throb and I had to shift more of my weight on Reece’s steady shoulder.

Old Mark shook his head. “They f-f-feel fi-ine.”

“It’s no good, you being out here in the rain with no shoes. You’ll catch a bad cold.” Reece put in. I glanced at the shoes in my hand. Home wasn’t far away, but I’d have to walk barefoot all the way there if I gave my shoes to him. And that would mean getting rid of my better pair. I didn’t want to part with those shoes. I couldn’t go to school with the other shoes that belonged in the nearest trash bin. I couldn’t even run a marathon in them. The rain continued to fall heavily. I took one last look at my mud-covered shoes before giving them to Old Mark.

“Mark, please. Take my shoes. I have another pair at home.”

He was grinning so hard when I handed both shoes to him, I could see his missing molar teeth.

“They’re a bit-t-t tight, b-but they’ll do me good.” He smiled widely as he slid them on.

“Th-thanks Shawn!” He called as we continued for home. “G-g-god...G-god bless you!”

***

“Maybe if it’s better by tomorrow, I’ll still be able to ru-”

“You will not be running with your foot sprained like this, Shawn,” Mama spoke firmly, shifting the ice pack on my swollen ankle. I scowled, eyes focused on the ice pack.

“It’s not going to be completely better for another two weeks or so.”

“Seriously? After all my hard work!”

She looked up at me. “I’m sorry, Shawn. I know you’ve been training really hard, but it’s not going to happen this time.”

I exhaled forcefully. “But…” My throat felt tight.

Mama reached out to touch my cheek gently, but I jerked away.

“I’ve been training so hard for this marathon! And right before it, I had to sprain my foot like that!” I pulled down my foot from the chair it had been on but then it started hurting again and I had to quickly put it back.

“Shawn, some things in life aren’t going to go your way. You can’t always play king.”

“I’m not trying to play a king!” I yelled. “I just want to run this race!”

She looked down at my foot. “I understand that. But it’s not practical, is it?” Her eyes met mine. “You can’t run with a sprained ankle. This is what God has written for you, honey.”

“Well, why did this have to be written for me? If I ran that race, I would have won it! Everyone knows that!” I bit down hard on my teeth.

Mama stood up to leave the room. “Give it some time Shawn, give it some time. We can talk when you’re feeling better. In the meantime, you need to rest your foot, okay?” She adjusted the ice on my foot. “I’ll go get started on dinner, alright?” And with that, she left the room.

There was a lump growing in my throat. I couldn’t believe it. Why, out of all days, out of all people, did I have to be the one to sprain my ankle right before the marathon? And I wouldn’t even be able to get a new pair of shoes for a long time.

***

The next day I went to watch the marathon, with the help of Reece and my crutches. It was almost four hours long, and I stood with Reece at the finish line. I didn’t even feel like cheering, and when Reece noticed, he stopped cheering as well. We watched as the runners completed their final lap. I wanted to disappear when I saw Jacob coming in first. A huge whoop went up in the crowd when he broke through the finish line. I told Reece I wanted to leave then. I didn’t want to see what could have been me, what should have been me winning the race. Frustration tightened my throat and made my head feel light. I nearly cried as we left.

Days passed and I didn’t go to school. I didn’t want to talk with anybody, not even to Reece who came to see me many times. Mama tried to get me to go to school on the fourth day since my ankle was feeling a lot better and the swelling was nearly gone. I was getting ready for school that morning when the doorbell rang. Mama went to go get the door and I took my time finishing dressing, not wanted to go downstairs and face Reece waiting for me. When I came downstairs eventually, mama was sitting at the dinner table, her hands folded together on her lap, praying.

“Mama?” I called, righting my crutches as I went over to her. “Who was a the door?”

“Oh Shawn, honey,” She looked up and I was stunned to see tears in her eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Mama didn’t cry often. When she did, it scared me.

“Old Mark...he just died last night,” She stood up and gave me a tight hug, sobbing for a long time. I didn’t go to school that day.

***

Once my foot was completely healed, I went to the park to stop by the bench that Old Mark used to sit at and scatter a few pieces of bread for the birds just like he used to. The first time I stopped by the bench, the sky was sunny, but a cold breeze was waving through the air. I finished throwing the last crumbs of bread and dusted off my hands when a pair of heavy footsteps approached, and I looked up to meet the eyes of Officer Housley. He had a soft smile on his face, and he wasn’t in his uniform. I wasn’t scared because I knew I wasn’t in trouble.

“How are you doing, Shawn?” He questioned carefully, sitting down on the bench beside me.

Everyone in town knew him. He used to give me rides in his squad car when I was younger.

“I’m okay. I’m really...I’m sad about Old Mark, you know?”

Silence held itself in the air gently, unsaid words brushing in the wind. We watched the birds finish eating the bread on the ground. A squirrel came to join them, keeping a wary eye on us.

Finally, Officer Housley turned to me and handed me a folded piece of brown wrinkled paper.

He let out a slow breath and hesitated before speaking. “We found this in Old Mark’s pocket after he passed away. I believe he wanted to give it to you, but just never had a chance to.”

I nodded thanks and took the paper gently. He stood up and tousled my hair, wearing a sad smile.

“You take good care of yourself, Shawn, alright?” Then he continued on his way. I took a deep breath before unfolding paper carefully, revealing Old Mark’s hesitant, shaky writing.

’Dear Shawn,

Sometimes it’s really hard for me to talk easily. I just wanted to say thank you for the shoes you gave me. I haven’t had a new pair of shoes for the last four years. Thank you for making my wish come true. Now I have a pair of shoes to keep my feet warm. God bless you always.

Keep running,

Old Mark’

I sniffed hard, folded the paper tenderly and tucked it away in my sweater pocket. Then I dropped my head in my hands and cried for a long time.