My Mother Runs
My mother runs. Every morning, she wakes up at five, clothes herself, finds her phone and earphones, and goes for a run. One mile every day. One mile before work. I get tired just thinking of running like she does. But every morning, my mother runs.
My mother runs. Every time I ask about my father. Everytime I asked about my birthday. Everytime I look at the pictures. She’s afraid I’d notice. Notice the picture of my brown eyed father and his brown eyed mother. Notice the photo of my brown eyed mother and her blue eyed sister. My mother runs every time. My mother runs from the truths she hides from me.
My mother runs. Soon, I follow in her footsteps. She runs in the morning. I run at night. We cannot bear to look at one another. Only appearing when the other one is gone.
My mother runs. Now I run too. I run hard. I run fast. I run like the wind barks at my feet and the sidewalk falls away behind me. My mother runs from the monster at her heels. I run to find it. The monster runs with my mother. Is what my mother says. The monster holds fast, my mother says, and will never let her go.
My mother runs. But today she hasn’t left when I come down. My mother runs. But today she hold a picture. The picture of herself and her blue eyed sister. I sit. She sighs, no more running. Her brown eyes shimmer and my blue eyes already know.
My mother runs from the truth she couldn’t bear. That her blue eyed sister runs. Runs away from everything. Her sister runs from responsibility. Her sister runs from the future. Her sister runs from me. Her blue eyed sister runs away from everything.
My mother runs from her blue eyed sister. Whom she cannot bare to see. Her blues look just like mine and my mother will not let it be. She says her blue eyed sister runs. Runs for the past. Runs for her memories. Runs for a time before me. Her blue eyed sister runs because she blames her daughter. Her blue eyed sister runs because she is a monster.
My mother runs. To shield me. Hoping I would never see this blue eyed sister.
My mother runs after me. I run hard. I run fast. I run like my mother is behind me. I run until I spot her. Until I recognize her. Gym. Treadmill. Outside the glass. Blue eyes to blue eyes.
I freeze.
My mother runs.