The Bestest Of Good Boys

I wake up. It’s bright outside. Holy shit! I love waking up!

I run to the big bed. Two-legged, hairless, weird dog isn’t awake. Holy shit! I love the two-legged, hairless, weird dog! I wake them up, because I love them so much!

Hairless dog makes me food. Holy shit! I love when I get food!

Mutated weird dog talks to me. Holy shit! I love when they talk to me! “Blah blah blah good boy?” Holy shit! That’s me! “Blah blah blah walk?” Holy shit!!! I love when mutated, weird dog walks me!!! I tell them so!

Holy shit! I love running! Holy shit! I hate squirrels! Must kill! Can’t, mutated hairless dog has rope thing that I can’t escape. I will escape. And I will kill vicious squirrel!

Holy shit! Neighbor cat! No looking… no looking… when I look, she pokes me with pointy feet. I hate pointy feet, but holy shit, I love neighbor cat!!!

Two-legged hairless mutant takes me home. Holy shit! I love home! I look for intruders, and I tell mutated hairless dog that home is safe. Holy Shit! I love weird hairless dog! I tell them so.

But then weird hairless mutant goes outside without me. I sit at window. I don’t see them. I sit, because I am a good boy. If I am a good boy, they will come back. Holy shit… I don’t love sitting like when hairless mutant leaves… but I am a good boy… and I will sit…

I go to sleep. Holy shit! I love to sleep! I dream of killing squirrel.

I hear a noise. Holy shit! Intruders! I love to kill intruders!

Holy shit!!! Even better!!! Two-legged mutant came back, because I was a good boy! I love when two-legged hairless dog comes home! I tell them so.

More food! Holy shit! I love food! Two-legged mutant dog pets me! Holy shit! I love petting!

We sit on the couch to watch the magic window. Holy shit! I love watching magic window with weird hairless mutant!

I look at two-legged, weird, hairless, mutant dog. Holy shit! I love them! They are asleep. Holy shit! I love to sleep, too! I sleep next to hairless dog so that they aren’t cold. Holy shit! I love my hairless mutant dog!