You breathed life into my lungs, you brought light to my soul, you knew me before I was a thought, you loved me before I knew what love even was. You protected me when I needed shelter. You fed me when I fell under hunger.
Yet I’m here with this wave of depression, this agonizing feeling of wanting to end it all. Shouldn’t I be happy that I have someone who’s loved me through it all? Shouldn’t I want to strive for more and give to others like you did for I?
Yet.. I do want that. But I can’t help but to feel the overwhelming feeling of being swallowed whole by the waters of depression, with each wave crashing and crashing and I am slowly further and further from land. I just want to cave in and let the waves carry me down to the depths of damnation which I deserve and then some..
How can you love me when I don’t love myself? When the ones I love aren’t there anymore. When I feel completely alone in this sea of fishes. And yet I FEEL frozen amongst the salt water creatures of this watery prison.
I want to be free wether it’s on land or at the bottom of this lonesome swell. Pull me deeper or push me to land. I’m tired of these waves for my arms and legs are too heavy. It’s getting harder and harder to breath. I’m slowly suffocating. I’m trying real hard to think but even my thoughts are suffocating with the opinions and small remarks of my so called peers.
I’m so done with this.
I’m so close to taking that leap of no faith into this water Chasm, ready to break the ice and plummet deeper and deeper.
How I long to just end it all. And stop this hurt.
To stop this isolation.
To stop the hurt.