Internal Bleeding

War. Self love is an internal war; Bloody. Trauma inflicted on my soul because I can’t decide to committ to loving me more. God has been dealing with me lately on this subject. The revelation He gave me is “in doing for myself, I can do for others” or what I won’t do for myself I won’t do for others.” In Luke 10:27 we are told “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ’Love your neighbor as yourself.” If I’m doing the first command correctly, then I’m enabled to do the second command correctly. I will confess I haven’t done either well. Because I fight loving me, I fight loving others. I draw my sword on the very thing I need and need to give. Raising the white flag in my heart will surrender me to receive and freely give. I’m still defining what that looks like for me. I need to speak more gently to myself. I need to affirm myself daily. I need to show grace to myself for my flaws and failures. I need to embrace my strentghs and not only my weaknesses. I need to kill fear. I need to choose myself when others refuse. I need to take responsibility for the woman I see in the mirror. She is worth loving. She is worth saving. She is worth fighting for. She was created in the image and likeness of Jesus Christ, her creator. She is fully known and loved unconditonally, overwhelmingly, and steadfastly.