Frigs

On our land you see, we live close to a swampy pond of sorts. And every day I can hear the sound of snorts and rib-bits echoing throughout the holler, well at least ever since Granny Rosemary tried to place a spell on Eddie Gerald Kruger, the man that broke her grand baby Annie’s heart. She completely snapped one day and had plain lost it when she saw Annie crying for the 112th day that year. She was so tired of hearing about her heart break that she was literally sick to death of it. It didn’t take her long to save up her wages from baking her award winning millionaire pies in order to pay the local traveling Gypsie, the lady witch only came once in a blue moon and she didn’t want to lose a grand opportunity to place the curse of all curses on Eddie Kruger. She was especially lucky to have found her off the beaten path, in a wicked shack by the ole mill road. She wasn’t one to partake in hocus pocus but this Eddie needed to be taught a good lesson. Grandma paid her with a whopping 50 cents, a weeks wages of selling her famous millionaire pies, all of this in order to pick up a spell or two so as to curse the muddy ground Eddy Kruger walked on.

I guess the spell didn’t work as Granny Rosemary-had planned. Eddy turned into an Opossum and all the frogs and pigs in the farm started breeding like mad bunnies and mated with one another. I was told by the groundskeeper that worked at the local pet cemetery that he had seen at least 100 little baby frigs all jumping from one tombstone to another. I could have sworn I heard one speaking to another the other day. Farmer Johnson and I both agreed while waiting on our meds at David’s Pharmacy, that they were indeed speaking in our tongue. And that was quite worrisome to say the least. I just wanted the annoying little things to take a flying leap out of our town. They were obnoxious little mutants with big ole pink ears, flat nose, funky frog lips and long green legs to match. They were the ugliest little creatures anyone had ever seen. Nobody even knew frogs could mate with pigs but all the frigs in Plattersville proved it could be done. Now there little country town in the middle of nowhere had become populated with a heavy dose of frigs. It wouldn’t be long before the news found out about their over abundance of frigs and they would be all over the papers as a major headline.