Harry Situation’s Bottom 5 Worst Movies of 2019
To quote Geralt of Rivia, "Fuck."
With Ying comes Yang, as they say. With a list of the best movies of 2019 there’s a list for the worst movies of 2019. And here is that list. You've waited for it, and now it's here. These are my picks for the Bottom 5 Movies of 2019.
You may be wondering why only 5 worst movies versus 10. The answer is simply: I'm not gonna waste my time and money by seeing 10 bad movies a year. What do you take me for, a masochistic?
Same rules of my best 2019 list apply here:
1) This list was organized based on my personal thoughts of the movies. Again, these are just my opinions for the best. And the movies listed are all movies that I’ve seen. I haven’t seen every movie released this past year because I don’t want to spend my money on really shitty movies. So if you’re hoping that a movie like Ugly Dolls or The Playmobil Movie (yes, that does exist) would be on this list, I’m thankful to say that I've never saw those movies yet and I doubt I’ll ever review them anytime soon.
2) In order to be placed on my Worst Movies list these movies must have received a D+ to an F on my grading scale, and have the hashtag ThisMovieSucks in the review.
3) These are not reviews. I’ve already reviewed these movies before, but I will give brief synopises of my final thoughts for each film. Links to these reviews will also be provided in case you ever want to read them again or you haven’t checked them out yet.
First off, let me list off a couple of Dishonorable Mentions:
-The Dead Don’t Die
Alright, let's address these pieces of shit, starting with:
5. Dark Phoenix
Final Thoughts: What a really shitty way to end a long-running franchise. On top of that it’s a second shitty adaptation of one of the best storylines in the X-Men comics. I don't know how but they found a way to make it worse than X-Men: The Last Stand. This is probably what happens when hire one of the writers of Fan4stic to fill in as director. His first directing job I should add. Most likely his last. Maybe now that Disney has bought out 20th Century Fox we can get good X-Men movies, or have the X-Men be featured in the MCU. Or maybe they won't, I really don't know. Until then we're gonna have to put up with this piece of shit. As far as I'm concerned, the X-Men films ended with Logan, a true beautiful finale.
4. Escape Room
Final Thoughts: It was the first movie I reviewed for 2019 and I declared it as one of the worst movies I ever saw. So it’s no surprise that it ended up on my list for the worst movies of the year. Escape Room takes the fun of an average puzzle solving experience and turns it into a painfully boring thriller. I didn't care for the characters. I didn't care for the life-or-death situations they're in. I didn't care for this movie at all. Can you believe this movie is getting a sequel? I know, neither can I.
3. Doom Annihilation
Final Thoughts: Is it fair to put a straight-to-dvd movie on my worst movies list? Pfft, I don’t fucking care. It’s my list. I can do whatever the fuck I want with it. Doom Annihilation proves once more why it's a bad idea to adapt video games into movies, even though the potential is there. In all fairness, this film is more accurate to the video games than the 2005 film that starred the Rock, but I could still have fun watching that film over this film. This film looks so cheap its pathetic. It has the most generic hero ever (whom I invented the term Jan Neric for). And, like I stated in my review, it is a rip-off of Aliens. I know that Aliens is super popular but couldn't this movie be a least a little original? Whatever. This movie can go straight to hell.
Link to Review: https://theprose.com/post/327828/harry-situation-reviews-cats
Final Thoughts: Yeah you knew this was gonna make it on the list. I told you I staved off this list so I could judge it that movie was worth putting on my list, and it was. It's a shame because I could feel that there is some potential for this film, but it wasn't in the cards. It cannot escape its very confusing plot (if there ever was a plot) or its abominable CGI work. If anything this film is a good reason why you should spay and neuter your pet cats.
1. Hellboy (2019)
Final Thoughts: Of course Hellboy (2019) had to be the worst movie of the year. What else was there? I told you all that I walked out of this film 5 minutes before the credits rolled. I rarely do that. And if I had to walk out of a movie before the credits come, then you know it's not worth my time. There’s so much wasted potential in this movie and it shows. Bad writing, bad effects, the constant exposition dumping, and let's never mention the grotesque violent scenes in this film just so it can shamefully keep its R-rating. The only good thing about it was David Harbour as Hellboy, but sadly he isn’t enough to save this clusterfuck of a movie. It's funny, in that review, someone left this comment: 'sucks when stuff doesn't live up to the hype'. I laugh because what hype was this person talking about? I was never hyped for this movie. I don't think anyone was. I'm more confused on why it even exists to begin with. All I could do was give this movie the benefit of the doubt, just like I do with every movie I watch, but the reality is that the movie just fucking sucks. I declare Hellboy (2019) as the worst movie of 2019 solely because of its existence we'll never get a proper third film of Guillermo Del Toro’s Hellboy films.
So those are my picks for the Bottom 5 Worst Movies of 2019. Have you seen any of these films? What were your thoughts? Do you agree with this list? What’s your pick for the worst movie of 2019? If your answer is The Rise of Skywalker, then shut the fuck up and don’t comment. If you don’t agree with with my choices and listings, that’s fine. Everyone’s entitled to their opinions after all. If there’s a movie you feel that should be on this, fill free to make a mention in the comments, and feel free to create your own list of what you feel are the worst movies of 2019. I would be interested in reading your list.
And if you enjoyed this be sure to follow me for more reviews coming in 2020!