Weakness

You are a man built of stubborness, stupidity, and ignorance, you are a hypocrite, an enigma. I've always hated you, and you knew it deep down in your mind, but you have always chosen to be blind, every second of my life I spent fighting to get away from you because of your blindness, you would tell me that you loved me and you would scream at me the next, making it obviously clear how you really felt about me. Today was no different, this year I set aside all of my fears because everyone else knew that you couldn't be helped, but for some reason I believed that I was ready to take on the challenge that was helping you. For once in my life I reached a point where I felt like nothing could ever stop me or slow me down, I was ready to help you I thought, with him out of the way it could be easy... No, you were damaged, so much worse now, or maybe just the same, and I wasn't used to it. Everyday you'd scream to your brother and argue with him, and now you're literally losing your mind from it all, alone, heartbroken, delusional, hated, betrayed, and worst of all, trapped. Your house screams "Insane" and everyone heard the house's warning, even I did, but I ignored it thinking I was strong enough. I kneeled down beside you while you were foaming out of the mouth with your constant babbling and your stack of papers scibbled on with millions of notes of numbers and unintelligible writing of dates, you never set your phone down to give yourself peace. Whenever it rang it was like an addict getting the fix they needed, but instead of relief it was anger that you needed. I took the phone away because you would text over and over, call day and night about the same things and then you would get mad about something that never happened. I spent hours that night trying to work with you to get a new job since this was the core of your problem, being with him everyday. You refused to get any new job, I tried to look for a new place for you to live because you were trapped here like we were before, and every moment of misery we've endured here could be buried, but you wanted to hold onto it because that was when you were at peace. I tried to convince you to take the problems to court, but you refused because you said that it wasn't gonna work. I sat down in frustration not knowing what else I could do. You can't help someone who refuses to help themselves I reminded myself, I teared up because I was alone in making this decision, nobody else cared, I don't really care what happens to you, but it's me who's responsible for taking care of you and I can't understand why I did ever accept to help you. I woke up the next morning and I simply asked you to help me look for something in the room of memories, a piece of all of us were scattered around the room making it impossible to move around, all I did was ask for help, and you got mad and started screaming at me, so I rolled my eyes and ignored you and said I'd do it myself then. You kept going on, it started to infuriate me how you started getting mad over something so little, all of it started building inside me, my patience shattered and I yelled back at you because I'm not the scared little girl I once was, I said if you screamed at me one more time I'd scream back at you louder, and you challenged me by saying "The hell you will" with a little scoff, I got out of my seat and grabbed my things and put them in the car, then I came back in to see you with all of your papers gathered up ready to take the same notes you always do, I shook my head in disbelief not knowing why I wasted my time trying to help you, that stupid boy walked in and he just stood in the door, I stared at him and my message was clear "I'm out of patience" and he knew it, he sat on the couch in silence and I marched back to the bathroom with tears of regret forcing themselves out of my eyes, I was a fool. You did your signature trick of playing innocent with your weak lie of "I love you, what's wrong?" and I shut you up fast, "I don't ever want to see you again, I don't care what happens to you, get some fucking help from someone else, I don't care if you go to jail or what!" in my broken and hesitant voice, and I stormed back throught the house, just like on that cursed night that I know so well. I passed by that stupid boy you trusted so much and I said "get him some help, I don't care how" and I slammed the door behind me, and that's just one of the many reasons I won't ever look back at you again.