The year is 2042 and it finally happened. A new flesh-eating virus has been circulating recently that has the potential to be a true extinction event. It spreads through droplets in the air, it takes three months to cause symptoms in the infected, who are contagious the entire time, and it is 99.7% lethal. Two days ago, I tested positive. The doctors had no idea when I would begin to exhibit symptoms, only that once I did, an excruciatingly painful end awaited within the week. I don't want to live long enough to see myself turn into a boiled, brisket-looking thing, so I'm preempting the virus and taking my own life. I believe in reincarnation; the only reason I hadn't killed myself a long time ago is that the pleasure and happiness that I take from daily life is greater than the average of any sentient lifeform that I could presumably reincarnate as. Since that criterion is no longer met, I will briefly and explosively overload my pleasure centers, and then greet death as an old friend.
How will I make the most of my final moments, you ask? Excellent question, here's my roadmap for success:
Cycle 1: Methamphetamine. This should be self-explanatory. Meth releases 6-12 times as much dopamine in the brain as sex. It's an exclusively artificial compound; there is no plant or geologic process that produces it. It's unnatural. Nothing in the real world is supposed to feel this rewarding. Which is exactly why, before I die, I must experience it.
Cycle 2: DMT - the "god" molecule. The most powerful hallucinogen known to mankind. People often report conversing with otherworldly "entities", feeling as if they are going to die, and waking up with the vague notion that their whole life has been a television show.
Cycle 3: Fentanyl. Double a typical lethal dose to make sure the job gets done properly. An engineer would call this a safety factor of "2", which is more than ideal. Why do they not execute prisoners with this? It's the happiest ending you could possibly give them, and we could confiscate it for free off the streets.
I've never tried any of these drugs before. I've never even smoked weed. But since the sky is falling, I have no logical or moral arguments against going out in a blaze of glory.
See you on the other side,