I want To Be someone

Sometimes you want to be someone

But you know you can’t be.

Because something is stopping you

From being that one thing

You can’t sleep at night

Your mind is racing

What if I said this?

Would it even make a difference?

When you go to say something

You find you can’t do it

Because you were shoved down too far

So far your drowning in the dark

You search and search

But you can’t find your way out

And you scream and scream

Till your throat becomes sore.

You pound your head on the floor

Tears falling from your cheeks

You can’t get a hold

Of that one thing your trying to keep

Your sanity is your downfall

You read to keep in fantasy

But your too far

Your drowning in the deep dark sea

You curl up on the floor

Hands shaking like your insane

Sometimes you wish you were

Because your heart feels broken

You hear whispers around the school

Of things they think you did

And maybe you did them

Maybe you can’t remember

You become Ice

You go cold

Unable to grab hold

Of your thoughts

Your spiraling

Your an empty shell

You shove everyone out

Saying you can handle it

Your dad is worried

Your mother wonders

Your brother scared

They all know what’s unspoken

You set out running

Feet pounding on the ground

And you realize

Your running from yourself

Wherever you go

Your dragging people down

A disease

A shadow

You dig down into your soul

But it’s hard to find

That one thing your looking for

Because you are No One

No one understands the pain you’ve been put through

To get to where you are

Because they all Are someone special

Unlike who you think you are

Even just a glitter of recognition

Even just a word

It doesn’t matter to you

Sometimes

You just want to be heard.

You don’t want to be fixed all the time

You just want to be someone

Someone heard

Someone wanted

Someone funny

Someone kind

But your song is dark

Your song

Is sad

And no one

Wants to listen

To that tune you have

Suddenly

Your hope dims

Dim enough

No one 

Can see it.

You continue to sing

Your sad melody

Until one day

Hopefully 

One day

You become 

Someone you want to be.

Because you want

To end life

With that one happy key

And maybe

Even have your sanity