Dear Mama
Dear Mama
I know
I know that you love me
I know.
I know you wished the best for me
You thought and knew I would rule this world
You called me fierce, brave and bold
You told me
How intelligent I was
How through my innovative and creative ideas
I would change the world
I sure hope you are not disappointed
Dear mama
Am afraid I didn’t turn out as great
I have not changed in the way you would want
any way
If any thing
The world has changed me
Mama, I am ashamed of showing my face
Mama, am scared
Am afraid
Am lost
Dear Mama
You said I was intelligent
Then why am I so foolish
So foolish to
Give my heart to that boy no, those boy
Can’t count how many more heart breaks I can endure
With each heartbreak sending me deeper in the abyss
Of drugs and alcohol
My friends think am self-destructive
Mama all I seek is to be loved and desired.
Dear Mama
I am no longer that sweet little girl
The one that used to curl up your laps
With sparkling eyes
Feeding off your musical voice as you told her one of your stories
Whose only worry was you getting mad
And denying her candy
Mama,
This daughter of yours
Even I cannot recognize her
Mama your little girl is gone
Her new worries
Her new worries are
….
She might get rejected because she covered up her body
That if she denied John or Sam or Dan or…
A piece of her
She might not be recognized
Yet all she longs is to be noticed
Mama,
Am sorry
You told me to be wary of men
You forgot to tell me how canning they are
I am trapped in my own web
Mama
All I wish for is to have candy
Dear mama,
You told me to respect everyone
You forgot to tell me how hard it is
Especially if you are being sneered and bullied
Mama
Yesterday I lost my way
when I slept with grandpa
well, not my grandpa
but he too was fossil
Mama
I can’t come to see you this holiday
Am afraid you will see though me
For am no longer whole
Am filled with holes
Caused by bullets shot at me down this journey
Mama
It’s not that I don’t love you
It’s just that I have changed
And am afraid you shall be disappointed
Dear Mama
I am lost
I went for an interview
I saw my chance to finally be the girl you said I would be
I was given the job
Just after I spread my legs for the brute
Now I feel tainted and worthless
The job no longer means a thing to me anymore
Mama I don’t think I can change the world any longer
Mama,
Am sorry….