I Pull Investments

Most of the time, I'm pretty chilled out and I'm never stressing out too hard. For the most part, I'm happy to be the therapist friend, and for my close friends I reach out at least once a week. It's typical for me to be really busy, but I do touch base with everyone in my circle enough to still be close. I'm firm in 'communication goes both ways' but I know good people can just be hesitant to make the move first. I know when I'm bothering someone, when they wanted the silence to last longer, and I know when people just really do forget.

It's work. Don't pretend like making that routine isn't work. Relationships take energy and effort, and most days I make a point to let the people I care know I care about them. Whether I have a lot to say or not, I do this because I care.

When I'm down in the dumps, I pull from those investments. Don't pretend like it's too expectant or too demanding. I now know how to recognize what I need and when I need for my mindfulness and well-being. And if my friends aren't willing to treat me the way I treat them, they are removed from my support system. I'm a good listener, but if that's all I am, that's the title. I don't look to my family because I know it doesn't help. And that's not a bad thing, it's just what it is. My friends are my chosen family for a reason, and I know who to go to for what I need.

Most of the time, I just need distraction. Sometimes, when I check in on someone, that's for me too. Everyone's guilty of solving other people's problems to distract from their own sometime in their life. Sometimes that's what it is, in disguise. Doesn't mean I'm using people, or that I'm not really valuing what they're saying to me. It means it matters to me too.

Other times, I need to be listened to. Talking is a way people organize what they think. And most of the time, when people rant or explain an issue they're solving, they already know what they want to and should do, but they need another opinion to deter them or encourage them. Sometimes just talking something through is what people need.

And when you need opinions and advice, don't take the internet seriously. It would take at least three credible friends to convince me to do anything or move forward with any plans that I didn't originally come up with. It's good to get ideas, but real friends over internet strangers any day.

When I'm not vibing and I'm not chillin, I reach out to the friends I know and love, and I let them know I'm cashing in a favor. This looks like a very cut-and-dry business model, but what's business without relationships? And it's not a business.

It's just going both ways.