One million

I did/do stand-up comedy.

I once receited a poem I called 'One Million' (must have be inspired by someone else). It was to a club full of wise patrons and drunk students.

I began my count from one to ten dramatically, making eye contact with people in the room and hip-thrusting the final expression.

... eight... nice... *Ten*!

I moved up towards hundred fairly quickly, only slowing down in the eighties, dropping my pitch to bovine levels.

Eiiiiiiiiighhhttty oooooonnnee... Eiiiiighhhhttttyyyyyyy twooooooooo...

After this I spend up, bending down to encourage those at the front to count with me. Some people began to join me my count up to a hundred, a number greeted with a racuous cheer by those into this.

Ninety Eight! Yeah! Ninety Nine! Right! ONE HUUUNDREEEEEED! WOOOOOOO!

I paused. Then continued, now non-plussed and monotonous. That guffled laugh when expectations are subverted crackled around the room.

A hundred and one. A hundred and two. A hundred and...

I did not change tone at all. I made no more eye contact. I had already my reaction.The title of my poem was now meaningful. I think I lasted fifteen minutes until I was escorted off.

Those were good days, and before social media too.