Just Breathe

It's a day

Where if I breathe I’m acknowledging I can still be hurt

Where if I breathe I’m acknowledging I can still be hurt

but if I’m so still you can’t even see me move, you can’t hear the thoughts coursing like wildfire through my mind then maybe I won’t spend the day knowing that I’m less than an inch away from tears.

Maybe if I did better, felt better, did more, got up earlier, I would feel better, I know I would

Maybe if I could look at myself and say that I deserved any of that I would feel better

Maybe if I just stopped

Just stopped thinking about me, let everything fall away and just make sure people don’t hate me I could feel better

And I do.

I feel better

but you’re still there

Stalking me

Watching me

Taunting me

And I don’t think I could breath without you here anymore

Because without you...who I am I

If you are the motivation for every move I make

Who am I without you

If you are the reason I have to try and do better, to create

What will I make without you?

I have nothing more than you because you have taken and destroyed everything else

So now everything I am only stands because you hold it up

And if you’re not here

I fall apart

And if you are here

I fall apart

but at least when I fall apart I’ll have something to pick back up with you here.