A Lunch in Quarentine

Family (me, brother 1, brother 2, sister, Mother, Father): eating sushi for lunch from small plastic containers.

Father (leaves the room for a few moments).

Brother 2 (looks at sushi container, which has one piece left): “How many were there to start with?”

Mother: “I had two.”

Me: “I had three.”

Brother 1: “I had two.”

Sister: “I had two.”

Mother (to me): “Wait, how many did you have?”

Me: “I had three.”

Mother: “You had three?”

Me: “Yes, that’s what I said.”

Brother 2: “Wait, but that doesn’t add up, because two plus two plus two plus three equals nine, and there were more than nine.”

Mother: “Yes, but didn’t you have two? No, three.”

Me: “No, I had three, not Brother 2.”

Brother 1: “There were ten pieces total.”

Me: “No, there were twelve.”

Mother: “Twelve?”

Me: “Yes: two rows of six.”

Mother: “Oh! Ok, that makes sense.”

Brother 2: “No, that doesn’t add up.”

Sister: “Why do we even care?”

Me: “Yes, why do we even care?”

Mother: “Ok, two plus two plus two plus three…Wait, did Dad have any?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Brother 2: “Try counting again.”

Me: “Wait, what are we trying to do again?”

Brother 1: “Figure out how many pieces of sushi we started with.”

Me: “You didn’t just count them before you opened the container?”

Brother 1: “Who counts things before they open them? Did you?”

Me: “No, I never saw it.”

Mother: “Ok: one, plus two, plus two-“

Brother 1: “Where did the one come from?”

Me: “Wait a minute!” (Jumps from my seat and points at the refrigerator). “There’s an unopened pack in the fridge!”

Brother 1: (runs to refrigerator and takes out sushi but drops the container, spilling the rolls all over the floor). “Oh no.”

Me: “Count them, hurry!”

Mother: (rushes over to throw the soiled food away). “How many were there?”

Me: “Count them! Quickly! Before you throw them out!”

Brother 1: “There’s ten!”

Me: “Are you sure?”

Brother 1 and Mother: “Yes, there’s ten.”

Me: “Count them!”

Brother 1: “We did!”

Sister: “But we only ate nine.”

Brother 2: “There was one left, remember: here it is.”

Father: (walks back into the room and sees the sushi he had bought less than fifteen minutes ago all over the floor). “What the?-“

Me: “There’s ten!”

Father: “What?”

Family: (pauses and look at each other before laughing).