I am a loser when it comes to girls
“Hey Luke, where are you going?” asked my brother as I cat-walked down the stairs.
“None of your business,” I said and reached the door.
“What will I reply if mommy asks about you?” he asked with a curious face.
“Tell her that I went to the coffee shop to take a look at the newspaper,” I replied avoiding him.
“Haha, I have found the answer for my question from your own mouth,” he said in a surge of victory. I smiled at his innocence and marched out.
And by the way, hi, I am Luke Glover. My friends call me “NERDY” and my family calls me “COWARDY CUSTARD.”But hey, please don’t stop reading this piece after hearing about me. I have written this as my brother Alex urged me to. He told me that though I may be a nerd sometimes, I am worthy, because he loves hearing all my embarrassing situations. Okay, now let’s back off to my story.
I ran to the little hill as fast as my legs could take. You can ask a question; Why should I go to a hill ? Well, it is because the little hill is a place which attracts tourists and I thought that I can get a girl for me, since she will be new to the place and will not be aware that I am a nerd. I told you, I am a coward.
In less than three minutes I was there, lost in the crowd which stood there gazing at the little hill. And guess what, I saw a beautiful young brunette in sunglasses. I stood there staring at her beauty that I didn’t realize that I have been staring at her for ages.
“Hello sir, could you please tell me what you are doing?” said a voice behind me.
“I have no time to reply,” said I as my eyes refused to turn back.
“Hello sir, could you look at me?” said the voice again in a harsher tone.
And stupid me, I replied “No, get lost.”
Now the man who was torturing me with his grunting voice came forward, blocking my view.
“Who the hell are you? Get out of my way,” I said.
“You wanna know who I am?” he asked with his eyes bulging as if they were to pop out any second. And his dirty long beard moved here and there like a swing with flies buzzing around.
“No, you don’t have to explain, I am enjoying my day today. Look at her. Look at her hair. I would rather go and make her my soulmate than wasting my time watching your ugly face, you roly-moly fatso,” I answered.
“Forget it, she is my wife,” he said shouting like a hungry dog. His voice was loud enough for her to hear and she turned back at once.
“What? You think I am a fool? She looks like a teenage girl. You will never get her even in your dreams,” I said in a voice so stern.
“What’s up honey? Who is this guy? Your friend?” she asked in a sing-song voice.
“Nothing baby, he was asking when we were married,” he said, smirking at me.
“Four years of course and who is he?” she asked, removing her glasses.
“Well he..,” he began but I interrupted him “I was his classmate,” I said. Ugh, how can he be my classmate? Do I look that old?
“Oh, fine. It's late. Can we leave, sweetheart?” she asked and I saw them leave, holding hands together.
Though my eyes couldn’t believe this drama, I heard my mind whisper, “Stay calm, she is not the only girl. Turn left.”I obeyed the orders and to my surprise I saw a cute girl with blue eyes as dark as sapphire. I stood watching her beauty and I didn’t realize that I slipped the word, “Charming”.
And I heard a girl say, “Excuse me”. This time I turned at once and I was shocked to see the same girl standing behind me!
“A ghost!” I shouted and ran to the other side of the crowd.
“We are twins, you idiot,” she said. But my ego didn’t allow me to look back. Yet, I didn’t lose my confidence. I waited for another girl to come across and yes, I saw one in a corduroy jacket who seemed ultra-modern. I didn’t wish to waste my time, at least this time. Behind me was an old florist waiting for customers. And I bought a dark red rose and reached her.
“Uh... hey... I am Luke...You...uh...you...look good...I mean great... I...I love you..,”before I could complete, she slapped my face so hard and one of her long nails pierced through my cheek and it transformed into a ripe-red cherry matching the colour of blood that came out. Tears were waiting to roll down my cheeks, but I didn’t have the courage to stand there any longer and I had no option but to race back to home.
I cried. I yelled. I screamed. I howled. And finally, my house was there as still as it had always been. I opened the door. Alex was there, where I left him, with an angry face.
“It took you two hours and thirty two minutes to read the newspaper?” he growled. He was never wrong in calculations. Especially when it has something to do with me. I laid on my bed facing the ceiling.
He sat beside me and in no minute, he yowled, “Oh, Luke! What’s wrong with your face? You are bleeding!”
He ran to his room and came back with some cotton and a bandage. He gave me first aid and looked at me with eyes of agony.
“What happened ?” he asked.
“Nothing, I just fell on the ground,” I said.
“No, look at that; It's like a fist.” He is clever, I thought, cleverer than me.
“Okay, Noel beat me,” I replied in disgust.
“Come on, Noel’s fingers are much bigger. You’re lying.” Ah, man, let me rest for sometime.
“Okay, you win,” I said and rolled on my bed.
“Tell me, or else I will keep pestering,” he said. I knew my brother. He is the best pest in the world, so I begged him not to say this to anyone for heaven’s sake and he promised. When I narrated him this long tale of utter nonsense, he laughed and laughed and laughed till he cried. He was the one who urged me to write this, insisting that nobody will know who I am. Yeah, that’s it. That’s the end of the story. I am sorry I am not good at conclusions, well, good at nothing. So thank you for wasting your time, reading this story of a nerd. Signing off, wishing you a good day opposite to mine. Goodbye!