Sherlok and Wason

He entered the casino. There was jazz music playing as he leaned low over the corpse. “Dead” he said “Pitiful. She was such a beauty”. He lowered his hat and turned to the exotic waitress “Did you see what happened?”

“No! I had no idea! The police told me she had a knife wound! I’m so scared now!”

The detective raised his head and looked at her “Don’t worry little lady. If I don’t find out who killed her, my name isn’t Sherlok Homes!”

“Sherlok Homes?” his partner said

The detective looked up “Yes. Because copyright.”

“Are you even writing about the crime?”

They were at a tiny dilapidated bar. An old man of 80 was lying on the floor.

“I mean, does it even matter?” He pointed to a bald man. “THE BARTENDER DID IT.”

“I told you, I was literally with you the entire night.” the bartender replied

“Oh. Right. Or maybe you hired A BODY DOUBLE!” he pointed again

His partner replied “Shouldn’t we look at the crime scene to determine if it was a murder?”

“Hm yes. I suppose so, Wason”

“Wason?”

“Yes because Watson is copyrighted keep up”

“My name is Bob”

“No. Your name is Wason. Now go get me a sandwich, Wason”

“There’s a dead body in the room”

“Why did I even hire you?”

“You didn’t hire me. You’re literally assigned to me.”

The detective twisted his hands through his hair “You’re annoying, Wason. Lucky for you, I have a sandwich in my bag” He drew out his lumpy sandwich “I was just testing you.”

“Sure. Do you want to go look at the body?”

“Yes” the detective drew out his sandwich “Layout the details of the case WASON!”

Bob/Wason started narrating the details of the case.“80 year old man felt dizzy and passed out at the bar last night. Nearby customer checked the pulse and called 911 immediately. Was found dead before the emergency crew could reach him. Autopsy is yet to come in but its most likely natural causes”

“IT WAS THE BARTENDER”

“I told you. I was with you. Do you not remember me serving you drinks?”

“I feel as if you mentioned this to me before as well. Wason, do you remember seeing this man?”

“Yes” Wason replied clenching his jaw

“Fair enough” The detective chomped the sandwich “Odd how his body fit directly into the chalk outline”

Wason didn’t reply. He was cursing under his breath “I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him”

“So who do you suspect Wason?” the detective chewed on the sandwich and the ketchup dripped onto the body. “Oops didn’t mean to do that.”

Wason couldn’t take it. He burst “IT WAS ME OKAY!? I KILLED HIM. I HAD PLANNED THE PERFECT MURDER BUT NOOOOO YOU JUST HAD TO COME IN AND RUIN EVERYTHING AND ANNOY ME. I WISH I HAD KILLED YOU INSTEAD.”

The detective replied with “Really? Because” he whispered “I still think it’s the bartender.”