wherever.
when i die, what i really, really want
is to be cremated.
but instead of being urn-ed
i've left careful instructions
for my ashes to be
shot
into space,
on a rocket.
yes, i want them to mingle with stardust
flutter in infinity
face the abyss.
basically, have the life i never had.
i mean, i've always dreamed
of embarking on space travel,
but i'm a realist.
i know
my remains are about as unlikely
to wind up on mars
as i am.
but they do have a better chance
of actually making it
into space
without me.
i am very
serious
about this.
it isn't a joke or anything.
i've done my research,
narrowed it down to two outfits.
(both in russia, though there is
a promising start-up in mumbai
that might be up to the task by the time
i die -- and be more cost effective).
i've set aside a small trust that will
cover the cost.
i have crafted careful
instructions for my loved ones
to carry out.
i've left no detail to chance.
but i'm a realist. i know
what will happen is that
no one will get around to it.
it will be too much trouble, so
they'll tell themselves,
"she's dead, its not like she'll ever know"
and they'll give me some vanilla burial
or put me on the mantle and I'll
be essentially robbed of
my final frontier resting place
and get stuck haunting
their boring selves,
wherever.