i wish i knew

wish i could tell you

how to move on

but i won't have a clue.

i still dwell on things long past,

relationships both good and bad,

friends both dishonest and true,

i dwell on them

like rereading my favorite book

over and over they replay,

but i don't love them the way

i love books.

i experience them over and over,

like doing community service during jail time

you don't want to,

but you have to.

and so i'm trapped in the vortex of memory.

waiting for the black hole

to dump me in a new world.

but now,

i'm still travelling,

floating through a black hole

of broken thoughts.

i can't tell you how to get over it.

i wish i could.

but if i knew,

i'd dig myself out first.

because life has taught me

that if you help others before yourself

you end up rotting in a ditch.