Leaving my room
In putrid rage, foggy mind
And conscience at its death bed.
Running to the kitchen
To grab a glass of sparkling air
Smashing it on the wall without fear.
Holding onto every shard,
Feeling the friction of the pieces on
My palm as the static turns into dynamic.
Pleading those chunks to not go
To not leave me like my sanity
Or the way those humans do.
Seeing the blood say goodbye, telling
Me that it’s happy to end this hellish ride.
Dripping drops of crushed character.
Just tears following the fanatic laughter.
Adulterated soul torturing the poor carcass.
Fingers falling with the glass, along
With a strange body & a stranger heart
Strength flowing out, doubts stuck inside.
My family wouldn’t care, friends never did.
Taking me to a doctor is all they will do
Or a simple, “What has happened to you?”
Their laser sharp eyes
Fail to ponder what they see, their
Strong brains disgusted by my crazy mind.
Soon they forget the past,
Thinking I’m back on the right track,
Back to the living prison without any bars.
So I’ll continue counting
The number of breaths stolen by my
Peace because that’s how it’ll live and breed.
Continue gagging on my own sorrow,
Conscious turning pickly sour, while I’ll be
Busy blowing bubbles of my sweet serenity.
Embarrassed at my fiasco attempt, my
Bruised hands desperate to do that again,
Just for them to understand my de facto life.
11 March 2021