distance, as lovers feel it.
when I was young, my mother told me the story of sunlight,
how the makers of this universe
reached out for each other
in the dark
and their love lit up a thousand suns.
I think of it often,
how strong love must be to create light where there was none before.
the lonely days I endured were only softened
by the thought that somewhere, anywhere,
there is someone who loves me into daylight.
like dawn, the realisation came in slowly,
in shifting colors that changed without warning;
you smiled and I thought,
“oh, there you are.
there you are.”
there is love in the light, yes,
but my heart looked to the waters and the shade.
though my eyes could only see your silhouette, i followed
the soothing cadence of your voice
in the bells, the robins, the waterfall.
wind like ribbons wrapped around your wrists,
always just out of reach
no matter how hard I tried to hold your hand
my touch would always fade from your skin,
like a ghost a moment before disappearing.
yes, the oldest gods reached for each other,
but reaching is all they could do; where
else did the light come from but the gaps
between their bare fingers?
light, a product of love,
light, a sign of emptiness.
where there is light there is no one;
shadows are proof of existence and we had none.
like any other lonely creature,
I am best loved from a distance.
and so I chase after you endlessly, helplessly;
dragonflies dance in my wake as you drift away from the day.
you look back, you do,
but our hearts beat differently and the divide between us grows.
all distance and longing, that’s what we are.
just another light that couldn’t find its shadow.