I Came from the Worst of It, but I Became Me Because of It.
She looked into the sky
It felt like it had been years since she last greeted the expanse of air
with more than a grimace and half mooned eyes.
She supposed that living inside her own cage of a body
was what she had condemned herself to
for the rest of her life.
When she was younger
less jaded, less hard.
She would tell her friend
that she sometimes felt
things so deeply
they sang in her veins.
Molding to the words she spoke,
to then float away,
to be released from the body.
Then,
for a good while,
there was a storm
that drowned out the music.
Her words stopped trying to find their release.
She had no way to escape the feelings.
So close now,
trapped music with no audience to be found,
just loud turbulence.
Where she could barely hear the words leaving her mouth
trying to escape the tin of her thoughts.
They became angry, harsh and scared
as if her own soul turned itself against her.
She became a woman
who was only as deep as her lead tongue allowed.
I am still unsure,
how she was able to find her way back.
I still cannot believe it when I look at her now.
She speaks to her soul regularly
and she gives pieces of herself,
but only so much that she can bear.
To continue to give in the day to come.
And the day after.
I think you know this woman.
I think we all do,
In one way or another.
You see,
I was her.
And thank God I was.
Because now,
I get to be her and me.
Finally me.
Thank God,
I found me.