Mind Games by Sickick
( this is a strange story that kinda fits the song. I was going for something and then it kinda fell apart. Oh well ) !!!!
TW/ abuse I suppose
Yesterday I met this guy, black hair with a touch of dark brown. He was quiet but he sent a coffee cup my way and somehow, someway he guessed my favorite kind. Vanilla sweet cream cold brew. I feel like that’s a kind you wouldn’t guess people to like much, however that’s what he ordered me. Do I look that much like a cold coffee drinker? Of course, I couldn’t leave without saying something, anything. With the quiet Starbucks becoming quieter with every exiting patron, I sat myself down next to the boy. He looked a little younger then me, student in college with dark dips under his refreshing eyes. I consider myself an older patron in college. Not 40s old or anything, heavens no! Just a late bloomer in the education department. That one year off quickly turned into 8 years.
“Thanks for the kind coffee, sir,” I say, letting my county twinge sparkle in the silence. He shifts his eyes from the window to meet my eyes.
“It was no problem. You seemed tired.” His voice seemed foreign, which made me like him even more.
“I’m Poppy,” I hold out my hand with a smile. He gladly takes it.
“Robin.”
“Robin, you say, are you gonna rescue me, darling?”
“Well I can certainly try.” I giggle. He might be more fun then a thought.
I’ve gone out with Robin multiple times since then. Every time I’m around him those butterflies flap harder, makes me wanna catch him and never let him go. He’s got an interesting backstory as well. He’s from Germany, immigrated to Fairhope, Alabama at 13. His sisters and mother live in a small house in the center of town. He apparently takes care of them, bringing them dinner every night and he takes his sisters to school. Johanna, the older one, is 15 while Poppy is 13. I want to meet them so badly, a little fast but I’m sure I could convince him to take me to his home sweet home. Let’s just say I’ve learned he’s quite persuadable, and I don’t want to say I know how to take advantage of that. However, I understand how to pull his strings. I’m going to invite him to the field tomorrow. I don’t want to imply we’ll do anything sinful, but the field is always where I’ve done it before. It’s more exciting that way. Maybe Robin was sent to save me from my boring life. My quiet, peaceful, little life.
Oh I just can’t get that boy out of my head! He’s got his cheeky little grin plastered in my mind, his soft spoken tone swarms my thoughts anytime something remotely reminds me of him. That might be because he’s told me everything. Every little detail of his past, present, future has been burrowed into my brain and keep coming up. Conversations with mother on the phone, comparing notes with younger friends, driving through town, shopping in the market. He’s imprinted himself onto the grooves in my skull and I can’t help but be excited!
Today I explained to Robin that I might be quite busy with finals taking over. He didn’t react to well.
“Are you kidding me? We just met and you already want a break?”
“It’s not a break, honey. Just two weeks so I can study. I know it’s difficult to understand with you not being in college and all but I have to pass finals. I’ll be right back in your arms once I’m done.” He continues to pout, crossing his arms like an adolescent.
“You think you can just leave whenever you want, leave me at anytime?” His voice shakes from an inappropriate amount of anger. He shakes his head, mumbling to himself.
“I’m not leaving you baby, I just need to to focus. I can’t focus when your around, you know that.” He stares at me, eyes never leaving mine. Quickly he grabs my arm and says, “you better be back.” I suck in a breath, my sweat slowly tracing his hand around my arm. His grip is tight, border-lining harmful. I shake my head, a little off put.
“Of course.” I smile up at his furrowed brow, crinkled nose, and fiery eyes. He releases me and turns his back on the door. As if not wanting to watch me leave, like he’s regretting giving me “permission” that I didn’t need from him in the first place.
The summer crept into our life soon after finals week. All As minus my chemistry final, but that’s good enough for me. My bed has slowly turned into our bed over the last few weeks, and it’s not a bother. However, having a space for myself again would be nice, but I could never tell him that. He couldn’t handle it. He’s just a lonely kid that needs some love is all. No need to pester him with me need for independence.
The sound of voices raise me from my slumber. I recognize the voice immediately, Robin. He spent the night here, as he’s been doing every night since finals week ended. I slowly turn around to see him sitting up in bed on the phone. No, on my phone. Then I see it again. That face he makes whenever the anger gets to him, I’ve only seen it one other time. A split of fear pierces through me but I take a breath to calm myself. I haven’t see him like this since the finals talk. I swear it’s a one off thing, I promise. I could never fall for an abusive man.
“What are you doing,” I mouth to him. He puts up a finger and says into the phone, “she’s been incredibly busy this summer and as I said that will continue. Don’t call again, she won’t answer.” He hangs up suddenly and stares ahead.
“Who was that,” I ask slowly.
“Some annoying old woman. She asked you to go down to Miami. Like you would ever leave me again.”
Miami. That’s where my mother lives. “Oh.” Slowly I pick up my phone and scroll through it causally. Yep it was the one and only mother dearest.
“I’m gonna head to the ladies room, honey,” I rub his leg and smile, “I’ll be back.”
Quickly I lift myself out of bed and grab my pink berry robe with clusters of red roses that could take the attention of anyone and wrap it around my figure. I leave Robin alone to sit in his own silence, almost concerned he won’t even be able to handle that. Once I’m safely across the hall and behind the closed door, I dial mother dearest again. It rings twice until she answers.
“Mom?”
“Good lord! Who the hell was the awful man! He’ll be lucky if I don’t come up and there and stuff my-.”
“Mom! What was it you needed to talk about?” I don’t want to talk about Robin with her. It would be a bother.
“Poppy you tell me right now who that man was.”
“Good lord mom, it was nobody.”
“Sure didn’t sound like a nobody.”
“Mother what did you want to tell me? Why do I need to go down to Miami?”
“Oh Poppy you know I just need some help. The cancer isn’t sitting still, no more. Doc says it could go downhill real fast. I just wanted to see you again.” I sigh, my fears being confirmed by my mothers own words.
“I’ll try to get away to see you soon mom. I promise.” She continues talking but I’m distracted. The doorknob, it’s turning slowly. I hang up the phone as the door slams open, the sound making my feet bounce and my phone land on the thick tile.
“Your gonna try to leave me again, huh? You think I’ll let you leave? You think you’ll manage to get away, bitch?” I take some steps back.
“Just to visit my mother, honey. She’s old, she might be gone soon. I wanna see her, is that so bad?”
“Oh hoho your so funny, Poppy, just hilarious. Come on.” He quickly reaches for me and plunges his hand into my hair, gripping a fistful of the luscious red strands and dragging me out the bathroom and down the hallway with it.
“Robin stop! We can talk about this!”
“No we can’t. Obviously I’ve chosen the wrong woman. Always trying to leave me, trying to get me out of your head. Drag me out of my home.” He drags me out the front door letting the wind blow it open to the world.
“You don’t like that, huh? Always need you privacy, your independence.”
“Please Robin. I just want to see my mother.”
“And I just need someone to stick around, someone who can be my home. Your not gonna leave me again. I’ll stay a constant thought in that little head of yours for as long as I feel compelled to. That’s a promise.”