i was groomed in the church

my younglife leader was twenty years old when i was fifteen

he was charismatic

he was popular

and he could drive

he sneaked me out of my house on new year's eve to get ice cream in the cold

makes you think: what kind of logic is that?

everyone thought he was stupid

he failed calculus

but he was brilliant in other ways

a master manipulator

he took his god's words and twisted them

he gave himself power above me

and he was always right

because he is a man

a man chosen by his god

to lead me to the light

he left me in a closet

a dark one

alone and lost with no sense of self worth

still the only thing that i have is myself

a presence much warmer than his god

ever could be