if you kiss me, will it be just like i dreamed it? (it was even better than my dreams.)

altered title from - “betty” by Taylor Swift

“Hey!” a voice from beyond shouted. I know that voice! I turned to the direction of the voice, and my heart skipped a beat. 

In a black off-the-shoulder top with slightly puffy sleeves that went to her elbow and a short, light pink skirt with a bow wrapped around your waist the same color as your skirt, she looked absolutely stunning, ethereal, even. A bracelet with many charms and a gold, layered necklace with stars went with her outfit perfectly as did her black converse and black chain purse. Cheeks colored red and hotter than the summer heat, I watched as she walked over with that lovely-as-ever smile of hers, waving enthusiastically at me. As flustered as I am, I managed to wave back with a feeble smile. Fuck, I’m so gay.

“Sorry,” she apologized, rubbing the back of her neck, “were you waiting long?” 

“N-no, not at all!” I waved it off, my cheeks still warm. 

“Your face is really red,” she commented, putting her hand on my forehead to check my temperature. “Are you feeling alright?” 

Backing away immediately, I felt my cheeks get even hotter. “Y-yeah, I’m fine, it’s just…”

“Hm?”

Staring at the ground, I rubbed my arm, peeking over at her and looking away almost immediately. “You...look...really...pretty…”

“O-oh…” Fuck, that’s not a good reaction, now is it? I took my eyes off the ground and onto her, afraid to see how she reacted. 

Flustered and probably as red as me, she clutched the chain of her purse, staring at the ground. Huh, seems like it was a good reaction.

“Thanks,” she whispered out, meeting my gaze, causing her to look away and blush even more. “You look really pretty, too.”

“Thanks,” I replied, feeling less nervous than before. 

“You’re welcome.”

Silence took over, and seeing as neither of us knew what to say next, I decided to change the topic, pointing to the entrance of the amusement park. “Why don’t we head on in? Summer isn’t very long, ya know.”

She nodded, her cheeks a light pink tint. “Ok!” 

With a peppy smile as well as a pep in her step, she went ahead of me, practically oozing excitement. Calling her pretty was a huge understatement, she’s the personification of perfection. 

“Two wristbands, please!” she chirped, holding up a ‘two’ with her fingers. The employee handed us our wristbands after she handed our money to them. 

“Enjoy the park,” he said with a lifeless tone after putting on our bands for us. Jeez, he must be fun at parties. Then again, he’s working in this summer heat and getting paid minimum wage, so I guess I can’t blame him for being so...dead, for lack of a better word. 

“Alright, let’s get going!” she cheered, grabbing my hand and dragging me around the fair. Cheeks painted crimson, I tried to ignore the fact that her hand was in mine, but it was practically impossible. It wasn’t the first time this has happened before, but that didn’t stop me from internally panicking every time. Her touch will always be my favorite, and call me selfish, but I want to be the only one who will ever feel it. 

“Oh, let’s ride that!” she pointed at a roller coaster that ran through the park. Seeing all those loops already made me nauseous. 

“Um…” I wanna say no since I know that I’m most definitely gonna puke if I go on it, but…

Beaming like a little kid seeing an ice cream truck, sparkles adorned those beautifully breathtaking eyes of hers as her dumb, little smile- that I really shouldn’t be finding this cute -gave me butterflies. God, why are you so damn adorable?!

“Fine,” I sighed out, feeling defeated. I can’t ever say no to her, now can I?

“Yay!” she shouted with joy, grabbing hold of my wrist and dragging me towards the line. 

I’m probably gonna hate myself after this, but if that meant getting to see her smile for a while longer, then I’d happily pay the price every time. 

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God damnit, I feel like death. The second I stepped out of the ride, my legs turned into jelly as I felt my lunch coming back up. I rushed to a trash can as best as my wobbly legs could take me and vomited my PB & J sandwich up. Fuck, I really do hate myself for this. 

“Oh my god, are you ok?!” she frantically asked, her hand rubbing my back in an attempt to soothe me. It didn’t really help since I still felt like shit, but I appreciate the sentiment.

“Y-yeah, I’m f-fine, t-thanks for asking,” I somehow managed to get out, still recovering from the post-throw up. 

“Maybe we should do something else,” she suggested, handing me a napkin to wipe off the bits of vomit on my face, “ya know, until you’ve recovered from this ride.”

“I have to ride more?!” I exclaimed, feeling nauseous once more.

“Oh, do you not want to?” Her mood dropped, her lips curving into a frown. Fuck.

“Uh, n-no, t-that’s not what I meant, we can totally go on more later!” 

“Are you sure?”

“Of course!” I’m lying through my fucking teeth right now because I’m an idiot in love. 

“Ok!” Her mood was instantly lifted, her frown turning upside down. I blushed at her smile once more. Yeah, I’m an idiot in love; but if being in love with her meant being an idiot, then call me the stupidest person in the world, she’s worth it. 

“Wanna play some games?” she asked, pointing at some stands, crowds covering what the games were even about.

“Sure,” I replied, feeling a lot better. “Ready to get your ass kicked?”

“As if I would ever lose to you,” she scoffed, crossing her arms with a cocky grin. “If anybody’s getting their ass kicked here, it’s you.”

“Oh, you’re on! Whoever gets ten wins wins?”

She nodded, still smirking as cocky as ever. “Loser buys lunch.”

“Deal!” 

We ran at full speed to the stands, stopping at a balloon-popping game. Giving the employee 6 bucks for 5 darts each, she went first.

“Don’t mess up! Not only will your money be on the line, your pride will be as well!” I taunted with a cheeky grin.

“Oh, shut up!” she yelled back before throwing her first dart, missing the balloon she was aiming for.

“Yes!” I shouted with triumph after seeing my taunting had worked. 

“I still have four more darts, I can still beat you!” She pouted, stomping her foot like a little kid throwing a tantrum.

“Yeah, yeah, put your money where your mouth is.” 

Her score was 3 out of 5, earning a small plush bear as a prize. 

“Aw, this is so cute!” she gushed, giving it a light squeeze. 

“We should probably get a locker for the things we might win,” I suggested, pointing in the direction of where the lockers were. 

“Sure, we can get one after this.”

“Alright.” I picked up my darts and began to aim. “My turn now!”

Hitting all the balloons perfectly, I got a perfect score, 5 out of 5!

“Hah, in your face!” I stuck my tongue out immaturely, earning a huff from her and a large stuffed bunny as a prize. 

“Whatever,” she grumbled. “Come on, let’s get a locker.” 

“Alright.” I chuckled at how she changed the topic almost instantly to avoid embarrassment. It was kind of cute...Oh, who am I kidding, everything she does is cute.

Once we got our locker set up, we went back to our little competition. 

“Ok, what’s next?” I asked, scanning the area for the next game.

“How about that one?” She proposed, pointing at one of those water gun games where you aim the little target to get your duck or boat or whatever to the top. I wonder what those are actually called…

“Sure.” I shrugged, not really caring what we were going to play next. I was gonna enjoy it anyway, especially since I’m with her. 

We made our way to the stand and stood by for a couple minutes, patiently waiting for our turn. When it was finally our turn, we paid the amount needed and immediately got down to business.

“You’re going down this time,” she declared, determination coursing through her veins. 

“Yeah, sure I will.” I snickered, waiting for the ‘GO’ signal.

The light flashed green, and the game was on. Shooting directly at the target, I switched between looking at my duck and the center, making sure that I was in the lead. But before I knew it, I heard a ding-ding-ding sound, insinuating that there was a winner; and that winner wasn’t me. 

“I told you I was gonna win this time!” She stuck her tongue out at me this time, pulling her eyelid down for more of a teasing effect. If I wasn’t so hopelessly in love with her, I might’ve actually gotten upset. 

Continuing our little game, we went from stand to stand to stand until one of us reigned victorious. We were at the last game, tied, neck to neck. Whoever won this one would be declared the victor, the winner, the person who doesn’t have to buy lunch. And seeing as my paycheck wasn’t coming anytime soon, I really didn’t want to pay.

The last game was basketball, and truth be told, I’m a little nervous. She’s a basketball prodigy, so she had a very high chance of winning. And seeing as she wasn’t even the slightest bit worried, it seemed like she knew that too. 

As soon as we were given the ‘GO’ signal, we began shooting basketballs; or at least she was, I was just chucking them up in hopes that at least a few of them would make it in. After a minute had passed, I compared my score to hers, and holy shit, I was losing miserably. There was only 30 seconds left on the clock, I’m never gonna be able to catch up to her! 

The timer went off, and just like I had predicted, she won, and I had lost.

“Woohoo!” she cheered, jumping up in the air. “I won! In your face!”

I sighed. “Congrats, I guess…” My wallet is gonna fucking kill me. 

“How’s it feel to be a loser?” she taunted and teased from all angles. “Guess I was right, your ass is the only one being kicked today! And who was it kicked by?”

With both hands on her hip, she gave me a cocky stare, expecting me to answer her question that had only one obvious answer. 

“You…” I grumbled, crossing my arms with a frown. 

“That’s right! I won, and you lost!” she gloated with a fist pump and toothy grin. 

Despite losing, I didn’t feel upset, not in the slightest. In fact, I felt like I was the one who won. Seeing her so happy brought a slight tingle to my chest as well as a cotton-candy-pink hue to my cheeks. Looking away from her little celebration, I covered the red of my cheeks with my hand, my heart racing and cheeks warming. I glanced back at her, her smile rivaling the sun and laugh sounding like music to my ears- call me cliche, but it was the truth. I want nothing more in life than to be able to hold her in my arms and call her mine. The idea of waking up next to her each and every morning and watching the slight rise and fall of her chest brings a smile to my face, and I pray every night that it comes true. Running my hands through that silky, smooth bronze hair of hers, feeling her lips slot into mine perfectly like a missing piece of a puzzle and having every corner of my house littered with the scent of her replays in my mind every night before I go to bed, hoping that when I wake up, it becomes my reality. 

“Hello? You there?” Snapping back into reality, I found her standing right in front of me, waving her hand in my face. 

“O-oh, sorry,” I apologized, taken aback by how close she was. 

“It’s fine, you were kinda just spacing out with a lovesick look.”

“O-oh, really?” I’m not actually that obvious, right?

“Whoever you’re thinking about must be pretty darn amazing for you to not hear me shouting your name multiple times.” For a split second, I could’ve sworn I saw her lips curl into a slight frown…

“Yeah...they are.” I smiled softly to myself as an image of her popped up in my mind.

“They must be a real lucky guy to have someone like you falling head over heels in love with him,” she joked with a cheeky grin. I can’t place my finger on it, but something about her smile seemed...sad. 

“Uh, it’s not a guy,” I corrected, rubbing the back of my neck. “It’s...actually a girl.”

“O-oh, is that so?” 

“Yeah…” Maybe I’m just imagining it, but she seemed happy when she heard me say that it wasn’t a boy…

“Anyway, let’s go get lunch!” 

“Alright. Any specific kind of food you want?” I asked, holding my wallet up. “It’s my treat after all.” 

She giggled at the little reminder, then hummed, followed by a shrug. “Not really, I’m kinda just in the mood for any food. Besides, it’s amusement park food, I doubt there’s going to be anything besides hot dogs and hamburgers.”

“Eh, true. Then let’s get going,” I said, heading towards where the food stands were bunched together with her trailing behind me.

“So…” She looked at me with a pleading glint in her eyes.

I arched my brow. “So?”

“Who’s the lucky gal?” she asked, anticipation lacing her words. “Do I know them? Does she know me?”

“Not saying,” I mumbled, my cheeks turning scarlet. There’s no fucking way I’m telling her. Sorry, but if she ever found out I had a crush on her...God, I’d fucking die. 

“Can you at least tell me what she’s like?” she pleaded with adorable puppy-dog eyes and a pout. “Pwease?”

As much as I hate that baby-like voice, she looked too cute for me to say no. 

“Fine,” I sighed out, rolling my eyes. “She’s...she’s really pretty, smart too. She’s got these beautiful ocean-blue eyes that I could just drown in. Her laugh is pretty amazing too. She’s got this adorable snort that I could honestly could listen to all day long.” I paused, wondering what else I could say. “I love everything about her. I love how she can’t seem to spell ‘restaurant’ for the life of her and only eats the cream in Oreos, I love the way she dances and sings poorly to her favorite songs and always writes the letter ‘i’ with a smiley face for a dot, I love when she involuntarily scrunches her nose when she sees a spider and sends me random texts with pictures of how she’s feeling and what she’s doing at the time...just, everything.” 

She probably knew I was talking about her, but I didn’t really care that much. I don’t want to hide these feelings forever, and I was gonna tell her eventually anyway. 

“Well,” she began, rubbing the side of her arm, “she sounds amazing.”

“She is.” How did she not realize that it’s her? 

“I hope you two end up together!” she rooted, wishing the best of luck to me. 

“Yeah, me too…” There it was again, that feeling that her words and smile weren’t what she was actually thinking. Maybe it’s not all in my head…?

“Anyway, uh, since we’re here, why don’t we look around and see what we should get?” she proposed with a feeble smile. 

“Uh, yeah, sure,” I answered. Is she alright? I can’t help but feel like there’s something off with her…

“Oh my god, look at those bears!” She pointed, twinkling at the large stuffed bears. Maybe I’m just overthinking it…

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Once lunch was over, we went on with our day, playing more games and going on some rides- I didn’t puke this time, thank fucking god -and before we knew it, the day was over. It was around 6 pm, and nightfall was coming. 

“That was fun!” she exclaimed with delight, a yawn following her words. 

“Yeah, it was,” I agreed, yawning after her. “We’re still leaving behind those prizes we won though, right?”

“Yeah, we are,” she confirmed as she tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “Since neither of us drove here, it’d be kinda awkward to have to carry them.”

“That’s true. It was fun getting all those prizes though.”

“Yeah, it was. We should do it again sometime!” she propounded, already pumped for the next time we’d go out even though I hadn’t agreed to it yet; well, lucky for her, I was already going to.

“Sure,” I said with a giggle, the corners of my lips forming a small smile. 

“Oh, there’s this ice cream place nearby, you wanna get some?” she asked, cocking her head to the direction of the ice cream parlor. 

I really don’t understand how she still has this much energy left. But even though I was completely fucking drained, I nodded, not wanting to end this little ‘date’. Heh, I wish it were one. 

“Yay!” She beamed with her hands in the air. “Ah, we can go right after I go to the bathroom, alright?”

I nodded, and we walked back in. The line to the bathroom seemed pretty long, so it seems like I’ll be waiting here for a while…Hm?

On my right was another game stand, but it wasn’t the game that caught my eye, it was one of the prizes. One of them was a little light-pink bunny with red eyes and wings, a magenta nose in the shape of a circle, fangs, and a black bow tied around its neck. A vampire-bunny...wow, that’s...kind of a weird stuffed animal to have as a prize...She might like it though...

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“Sorry for the wait!” she apologized as she ran towards me. “The line was really long, like really– huh?”

Something distracted her from finishing her sentence, and I’m guessing that ‘something’ is this hideous doll in my arms. 

“What...is that?” she asked while pointing at this monstrosity. 

I took a deep breath. I can do this. I handed the vampire-bunny to her, rubbing my nape as my cheeks turned warm with a crimson hue. 

“It’s...it’s for you,” I mumbled, glancing at her for only a second before looking away, my face turning three shades redder. 

“F-for me?” she echoed with disbelief, a finger pointing at herself to make sure she heard me right. 

“Y-yeah,” I confirmed, sneaking another peek. “I thought you might like it since you really like collecting weird and ugly things that most people wouldn’t like. Like those sunglasses you got a few weeks ago, they looked awful, and that was the reason you got them. So I thought that you might like this because of that…”

She didn’t reply. I finally mustered up the courage to look at her, only to find her too stunned to speak. Fuck, does she not like it?

“It’s fine if you don’t like it, I can just give it back or something,” I rambled, probably sounding like a complete idiot. “I can probably just give it away or something, it’s totally fine–”

“I love it!” She was bubbling joy as she gave the vampire-bunny a tight squeeze, holding it close to her chest. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

My heart began to race once more, and I couldn’t help but feel all giddy inside. I made her this happy, I was the one who got her to smile so widely, it was me. “I’m glad you like it.”

“I love it so, so, so much!” She gave it another squeeze and lifted it up in the air like a dad with his kid, admiring the stuffed bunny.

I softly giggled at how much she resembled a little kid on Christmas Day getting exactly what they wished for from Santa. She’s happy, and it’s because of me. 

“I’m glad you love it,” I corrected myself from before with a chuckle.

“I do, I love it a lot, especially since you were the one who gave me it!” 

Huh? She...she likes– no, loves it that much because I was the one who gave it to her? I watched as she realized what she had just said, heat rising to her cheeks, a deep red painting her face. 

“U-uh, that’s, that’s not what I meant– I mean, it is, but, uh..” She was a fumbling mess, and just like everything she does, I found it adorable.

“Oh, uh, why don’t we go and get some ice cream now?” She added an awkward chuckle and grabbed my hand, dragging me to where the ice cream parlor was. I giggled at how flustered she was but decided to leave it at that. I watched as she clutched onto the vampire-bunny tightly to her chest. Was she only doing that because she loved it that much or because I was the one who gave it to her? Maybe it’s both; she loves it that much because I gave it to her. 

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After a short walk, we arrived at the ice cream shop, a few people in line. While we stood in line, we checked out the menu. 

“I think I’m just gonna get a chocolate,” I decided. “What about you?”

“I’m gonna get the cotton-candy, it looks really good.”

“Alright.” 

Once we ordered and paid, we decided to head to a nearby park to enjoy our delicious delights. We talked and we laughed, our laughs filling the empty park air. 

“That’s what I’m saying!” She broke out in a fit of laughter before taking a lick of her pink and blue ice cream. “I mean, how stupid do you– oh, you’ve got some ice cream on your face.”

I wiped the left side of my mouth, assuming that was where it was. “Did I get it?”

“Uh, well, some of it.”

I wiped the other side of my mouth. “How about now?”

“No, there’s still some left,” she replied, shaking her head and grabbing a napkin. “Here, let me do it.” 

She leaned in close to me, our faces inches apart as she wiped away the ice cream on my face. I watched as she inched closer to me, ridding my face of the sticky, sweet dessert. God, she’s...really close...Lips slightly parted, her oh-so-kissable lips were tinted light red and smelled like strawberries. I wonder if they taste like them too…

“There, done!” she declared, throwing the napkin away at the trash can beside her. “I don’t know how you managed to eat so messily– Mmp!”

I placed my lips onto hers, my ice cream forgotten after finding myself a new, sweet treat to indulge myself in. A thin layer of cotton-candy with a hint of strawberry coated her lips, but that wasn’t what made her so delicious-tasting. I liked it because it was her, I liked it...because I love her. 

I broke away from the kiss, panting heavily with lust-laced eyes and slight swollen lips. She was just the same, out of breath and staring up at me with a lustful look, almost begging me for more– Ah. I just realized...I kissed her.

“I’m sorry!” I blurted out, backing away immediately. “I didn’t mean to– I mean, I did, sort of, but I didn’t ask you for permission, which was wrong of me, I’m sorry, I’m really, really sorry– Mmp!”

Feeling her lips on mine once more, her tongue gently nudged my lips, and I knew what she was asking for, so I complied. God, it was even better than the last kiss. 

Tongues tangoing and hands wandering, my hands snaked around her waist as I hoisted her up onto my lap while her arms wrapped around my neck without the kiss being interrupted. Eager and enthusiastic, her hands ran through my hair as her tongue explored my mouth, sending a jolt of pleasure down my spine. 

Out of breath once more, the kiss ended, my forehead pressed against hers as I gazed into her hungry eyes, desire glazed over her eyes. 

“I like you,” I breathed out, still staring into her eyes. “Actually, scratch that, I love you.”

She chuckled softly and pressed a quick peck on my forehead. “I love you too.”

Moving my head away, I couldn’t believe that she felt the same. “Wait, really?”

“Yes?” she answered, confused by my reaction. “I just made out with you, what makes you think I don’t?”

“I don’t know, why didn’t you realize I was talking about you when you asked me to describe my crush?”

“Because I didn’t think that someone like you could ever like someone like me!” she explained, still situated on my lap.

“Exactly– Wait, what?” I was confused again. “What do you mean ‘someone like you’?”

“Well, I don’t know, you’re just really cute and amazing, and I didn’t think that someone as perfect as you could fall for someone like me!”

“But you’re the really cute and amazing and perfect one, not me!”

“Are you kidding me, you’re literally a fucking angel!” she rebutted, crossing her arms.

“Says you, have you seen yourself?! Not only do you have the looks of a fucking goddess, you’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met!” I crossed my arms as well, offended that she could ever think that she was anything less than perfect. 

“Wait, really?” Instead of sending another rebuttal my way, she was taken aback, her cheeks outlined red. “Do you really mean all that?”

“Yeah…” I blushed along with her, embarrassed by my sudden confession. “I meant every word I said.” 

“O-oh…” Cheeks turning even redder than before, her eyes averted my gaze, gnawing at her lower lip. “I’m glad...”

I giggled softly at how flustered she was. Tucking her hair behind her ear, I pressed a chaste kiss on her cheek.

“I love you,” I repeated, planting another quick kiss on her lips. 

“I love you too,” she whispered, still a bit flustered from before. 

“Um, will you,” I began, rubbing my nape, “will you be my girlfriend?”

With a warm smile, her lips found their place on mine once more. “I’d love to.”

“Good,” I said with a chuckle. 

“Good.”

A blanket of silence covered us, but neither of us minded. It was comfortable. It was kind of like we were silently telling each other how much we loved each other. Maybe I’m reading into it too much and she might actually just don’t know what to say, but one thing I’m sure of is that when I go to bed tonight, I no longer have to wish for those scenes that replay in my mind to become my reality; it’ll already be my reality.