Lotus-Footed Heartbreaker

Bound for the sake // of beauty,

For the sake // of being wanted

Cotton bandages can only constrict so much

Before the threads begin // to unravel

I have soaked myself in herbs and blood

For softening

Have fit a foot of yours and mine // into a single shoe

With three inches // to hold us both

From heel // to broken arch // to toe

Now dance

Dance upon these feet,

These crescent moons upon a stage—a lotus

And dance a story:

     Of us

Spins and leaps translate our meeting,

Followed by a spotlight’s blinding flare to make us stumble

And fall

Off comes the shoe // revealing ugly truths // once bound beautifully

My shattered feet unfold from the bandages

And you are subjected to my raggedness

Your eyes drawn toward the audience

A soliloquy of sorts

Seeming to say:

     Look at this contorted liar

                 this twisted thing for which I have no love

You take the exit and the spotlight wanes // to a new moon bulb,

The audience shuffles out // forgotten tickets in their place,

And I am left to lie bare before the empty seats,

Your phantom voice ricochets // throughout the halls

A cacophony of sounds

In this emptiness

Broken records scratching and crackling old love songs

We could’ve called ours

These feet, which cannot walk // made bags of gravel

These bones, which cannot mend // fill me // but cannot support me

I cannot bear the ghost of us—lest I

Become a fallen star with:

     Concave back

     Buckled spine

     Fissured vertebrae

As the curtain finally falls

I ask you:

Play your trumpet in the pit of my chest

No strings

No percussion

Just the brassy cries of an instrument I played once, too