To Be or Not to Be

Not a person in this skin

Not a brain in this head

Not a thought without wishing

the thought was not

Sometimes life's a lot

and that's okay if you let it be

but sometimes you cannot

and that's okay

until

it's not

it builds and builds

not like bricks but like the sound

of walking down and out

of a quiet building to the busy streets

where it's so loud you can't stop to remember your name

and then you forget where you were going

and why you came to this fucking place

because life was better

when you had ground to stand on

and you didn't fall

every time you tried to sit down

but sinking into the floor

into these feelings

feels better than

staring blankly at the wall

feeling nothing at all.