Slamming thoughts through straight—a message to myself
to the people who tried to shame me,
do you ever wonder if it worked?
because I spend days thinking of all the hurtful things I said
I spend days pondering what I should’ve done
or how I could’ve been better
I spend days counting the days till it will finally be over
to the people who screwed me over
do you wonder if I’m fine
for I create clocks and fixtures in my mind to hold my thoughts hostage to specific times.
I wander through alleyways of these passage-veins that circle and circle throughout my brain
i create cycles of patterns looping round and round so that I will not forget
to those who laughed
to those that left
I am one of you
one who let go of human empathy to stick to the concrete sound of melancholy memories
drifting to haunting taunts
as I screamed at those who were inferior
at those who were crazy
at those who were hurting
at the one person I truly. loved.
to those who punish themselves
who create killing karmas to punish their own actions,
the truma will soon fade to a less frequent pain
the world is a terrible place,
but you have a lifetime to improve it
to believe in yourself in others
to those people
to those people who really need to hear it
I forgive you.