Birds start the day announcing that they're horny.
The bees are portable condoms for the flowers.
Octopi present their penises to potential mates,
And penguins present a potential lover with a rock.
Fireflies blink in Morse Code "U up?"
Garter snakes rush females all at once,
And don't get me started on ducks
Or dolphins, Jesus Christ. So rapey.
Squirrels chase each other, playing Sexy Tag
And flatworms penis fight to decide who's gonna be pregnant
Worms stick together in the silent dawn, swapping sperm,
And snails have an intricate mucous dance while they fuck.
All of this, I say to my bewildered class,
Who are just waiting for me to stop talking about why
I find animal sex so fascinating and would happily
Spend hours helping introduce animals to each other.