Highly Sensitive & Unfamiliar Territory.
Have you every observed a cat in a room fixated on something that YOU cannot see? Many days I am the cat sensing so much around, AND I am me, who can't see what the cat sees but feels much of the invisible world. Everyday I feel as if there is a part of me that is wandering in the dark, the invisible that surrounds everything. Let me say I've never been one to wander in any sort of dark whether it be a basement in my childhood home, a dark haunted house, blackened woods outside - none of it. I prefer the light or any tool that will offer me a spec of light.
I wish I could walk about freely in my days. At some point in the day, the place of unfamiliarity will arise, as it often does. It could be anywhere, anytime. My mornings will begin with familiarity of opening my eyes just as the stars fade into dawn. In this moment of stillness, before everything begins to stir, is comforting and I rise. I head to the kitchen where I make the coffee under a very dim light. The moment of comfort is that brief. As the day rises in momentum so does the sensitivity to my surroundings. At anytime during the day the surprise of unfamiliar territory can happen - just like a cat suddenly fixated on the invisible at any undetermined moment. I'm unlike a cat in regards to a conscious awareness of such moments, however, it's a feeling. Inside myself begins a vibration of some sort. The stillness has left. I'm not exercising, singing, jogging, or working hard to increase the energy within me. It's almost like suddenly I have tentacles and that are reaching out into the ethers, like fishing in the dark. It's unfamiliar and I don't know how to relate to part of being.
This brings the element of surprise into my everyday. Living with such an element is unnerving especially since I crave peace, trust, stability. Eventually in my every day, there is the moment of awareness through feeling that something has shown up but I can't see it. I realize this is not the typical everyday I've read about here in this challenge but I am sharing with you what it's like to be me.