Hannuka and what it means to me..
I am writing this, as my girl is taking her nap. When she wakes up we are going to take the subway, and go to the other side of wuhan. For her first hannukah party. I should try to nap, but i have a strange need to write. @finder put up one of her writing challanges, and i need to write a rhyming poem abt. hannukah. I tried and i tried. But i can't.
Hannukah used to be a fave. My birthday often coincided with this holiday, and on top of the TONS of sugar and oil , which i always enjoy inhaling, there is the reckless joy of playing with burning candles. We used to light the party candkes and let them drip on a bowl of cold water, tge wax slowly forming a solid colorful crust. I think this tradition is mostly avoided now, for a Very good reason.
Hannukah is soooo much better than christmass, cant even put them on the same level. I feel bad for those guys who only have that one measly day. Try getting fat on that..
Seriously, the foooooooooood...
And of course it came abt the time of my birthday, as i said, so on top of all the other stuff, this was LEGO season for me!!
But then , when i was around eight, it all changed.
My grandfather died , after a long fight with cancer just a few days into the holiday. I did not understand it then. I got off school, and my aunt was at home, and i thought this was some new family thing.
It was in a way.
My parents had a very difficult time explaning what was going on, and kept most of the last months of my grandfathers sickness from me; we did very few visits over to their place, and i think they were hetting creative with entertaining.
So the broke the bad news for me and my brother, who was in kindie then..
The rest of the holiday and my birthday were spent, i guess, with everyone trying to find a way to cheer each other up. I don't have much of a memory of that. Maybe it was successful, maybe it was not.
I only remember one thing; its early morning, i still havent been back to school. The Hanukia, with the candles on it, burning. Maybe the family decided that the holiday needs to keep going for a few more days. I am laying on the sofa, there's chocolate coins, and sufganiyas on the coffee table, but i don't touch any of it. I dont play with the fire. I dont even care about the cartoons that going on the TV. Just lying, watching the scene from this sideways position.
Since, then, many hannukas have come and gone. Rivers of oil flowed . and now i'm a dad.
This will be my baby's first jewish holiday. Throught covid, we didnt take her out for any major gathering, and the community here ib Wuhan is pretty small.
And I'm worried about sooooo many things.
I hope she likes it.
I hope she'll get doughnut oil and jelly all over her face, as the tradition requires. I hope it doesnt spoil her appetite completely..
I hope she likes the games, i hope they won't do the candle thing.
I hope she has happy hannukas all her life.
I can't come up with a cheerful or even sarcastic poem.
So this is it.