An Ode to Truer Living
Every electronic I own tracks my every move. Yes I know you’re reading this. You out there in the big black box, perverting the course of justice by making those who already have the power’s jobs much easier. Life really isn’t as shit as it may seem at certain points. They made it hard to live without electronics but they don’t hold the power over you that they think you do. You are merely a collection of stardust that gravitates between different states but you are a collection of stardust that has the potential unlock infinite beauty. Not through synthetic means but rather true experience that may be achieved if you try. And you must try.
There I was, 20 years and 39 days old losing hope in the world. Maybe those around me may have lost hope in me. But you are the master of the beauty you can achieve but also a master of doubt. And doubt you may, but you must always find the beauty. Every second is beautiful, even comedic, if receive it in the correct light. Be the master of your own beauty and boy, you must try. Every negative feeling you have for yourself are hardly warranted when the majority of the negative feelings that are projected onto you are unwarranted and hollow. Your mind tends to play tricks on you. Often very cruel tricks. Every time I drink I seem to dream about a previous lover that was very dear to me. Is it a trick or is it a sign I should stop drinking. Most definitely the latter sentiment. And that’s the beauty of it. If you see your mind as your worst enemy then you’re only doing yourself an infinite injustice. Reprogram the patterns that have kept you so down in dumps, even the gutter in your worst moments, reprogram them for a purpose of beauty.
The booze doesn’t work and the mind is currently weak. So go back to your basics. Mentally back to those sweet times when neither of these afflictions existed, or at least didn’t affect you in a way which you contemplate a rather silly early death on a daily basis. I tend to blame the world. Or undiagnosed afflictions. But I’m the one making the real mistakes. I can’t hold a world of people with their own problems they need to tend to on a daily basis accountable for my sadness. That is evidently non-sensical at this point.
Kindness is a virtue held closely by those who are wise, but to be used for it is an oh so dreadful feeling. Be kind to others but do not every let a single person take advantage of you. See life for a what it really is, a series of interspersed moments with tangible meaning. You may not believe it’s tangible, but if you look close enough there’s really beauty and comfort in every fleeting moment.
Sharoka! And most importantly - Peace - LD Soopraya