A lot...

I've been going through something since April, by the time it's done, it will be a wild ride of ten months, just shy of a year. Because of it's legal status I won't get into details about my situation. During all this I have become very depressed, angry, hurt, disappointed and often suicidal. I stopped writing, fell out of love with words and their meanings, as words so often fail us from all aspects of life. I stopped caring about everything and everyone, it takes all I have just to get out of bed. I've never felt so dead inside as I do now, as I feel right this minute. I never catch a break, not as a child and definitely not as an adult. I've tried talking to someone and I have tried medication, just to come to an understanding that no magic doctor or nor magic pill exists. I'd be homeless right now if my support team wasn't made of such wonderful and kind human beings. My situation has robbed me of all that I am and all that I want to be. I can't sleep, can't eat or I over eat, I can't stand the person who looks back at me in the mirror, most of all, I can't stand being disappointed with life. All I do is cry. Get angry and wish myself dead, and all this is because of what someone else did to me. Where have all the good words gone?

Where does the heart go for peace of mind? Where do I go to find my heart whole again, because right now I'm fractured.