Life isn't easy
and it hasn't been the best.
Once I thought,
"maybe it won't ever get better,"
feared the worst,
couldn't see past the darkness.
I was told I wouldn't make it.
"How will you survive real life
if you can't survive high school?"
"How will you have a job
if you can't talk to people?"
"How will you be loved
if you don't put yourself out there?
If you look like that?
If you aren't even sure love is real?"
And I believed them.
I couldn't talk to people.
Anxiety and depression controlled me.
I didn't trust people;
too many had shown me I shouldn't.
And I didn't believe in true love.
My parents convinced me marriage would just end in hate.
Then my heart got broken
and it was the lowest I had ever been
and probably ever will be.
But it made me grow.
It finally destroyed me enough
for me to seek help.
I went to therapy
and slowly my mind was convinced
that not all my thoughts are real or true.
Not everyone hates me.
I am not solely what I look like.
I am creative and funny and hopeful.
People like me and want to be my friend.
So maybe I'm not rich or famous
but I have a job
and I have friends
and I talk to people.
I'm doing okay.
And that's much more than I thought I would ever be able to say.