It is harder and harder to see beauty in humanity with my growing knowledge of history, of dictators, of kings. But, the more I learn about the natural world the opposite is true; it becomes even more exquisite.

This is no Pollyanna hot take.

I love it even with the tapeworms, mosquitoes and snarling cougars, the frigid starving winters and the parching desert heat.

Beauty; embodied within even the smallest organisms, spun throughout the intricate web of processes that causes life's' continuation, beauty is as fundamental to life as DNA. All it takes is an openness and time to see, to hear, to feel, to smell, to taste, and I am hypnotized, transcended.

Leaves moving like waves in the wind, or the mind altering fragrance of balsam poplar, pine pitch, or rose. The feel of moss underfoot, or against my cheek as I lie on the forest floor, eyeing mushroom gills and the dusting of spores in the leaf litter. Chanterelle forages and sweet periwinkle nectar, the invigorating chrisp of wintergreen berries. Witnessing pelican hunts, the bass notes of barred owl calls, or a bee snoozing inside a chickweed flower. We all know that these are beautiful things, but do we see them as divine? Sentient? Deserving? To be a true naturalist, to be in love with everything the earth holds is to also embrace the vile. The violence. I embrace the shadow side, because I see it is inseparable from the rest.

Mosquitoes, ticks, piranhas, grizzly bears, cougars; parasites and predators each play a supporting role in a functional ecosystem. It is not just the specific tone of a particular species that I love but the whole symphony of interrelating species, crucial for appreciating this gorgeous song.

This beauty offers transcendence; watch the slow movement of a snail, let her crawl across your page, onto your finger, feel her life, her curiosity. Say hello.

This is what makes me different, maybe even extraordinary; certainly, this appreciation of beauty is what gives my life juice. Perhaps through my art, for whatever it is worth, I will be able to illuminate for someone the hidden threads of beauty woven even in the shadows of life.