i did it again

why do i always have to go and try to fix things that aren't broken?

i messed up

again

because i can't be okay with letting things play out

i hurt him

i know i did because i could see it

and it hurt me too

but at least that was my own fault

i wanna tell him

that i didn't mean it

and ask if we can forget that it even happened

but it feels too late for that

maybe

if i explain it to him

maybe he'll understand

but that means putting a piece of myself out there

for him to see

and think about

and be scared off by

because who thinks about these kinds of things all the time?

what to do

i have the choice

i can do whatever i feel is right

but i don't know if i want to fix things just to go and mess it all up again