"Once upon a time is such a cliche way to start a story, but here we are", said Sally. Ana rolled her eyes, and Jane just shrugged. It was girls' night out, and as per usual, Sally was late. Knowing that there was nothing they could do to avoid the cascade of gibberish that was soon to come out of Sally, Ana and Jane simply stared and waited.
Just as Sally moved her lips to weave the fabric of that night's hap-hazard explanation, the front doors of the restaurant were thrown open, and the restaurant went completely silent. Two men dressed in black from head to toe made their way to the center of the restaurant, guns in tow. "Give us all your asparagus", they shouted, "There is only one thing we ask of you and that is asparagus." At some point, silverware hit porcelain in the back of the restaurant.
"I have some asparagus for you", said an elderly man in the back of the restaurant.
"Very noble indeed, old man, but it is not asparagus from you that we desire."
Slowly, a stark, gloved finger was pointed at Sally and the whole world seemed to shudder.
"But I hate asparagus", Sally protested, "I haven't touched it in years."
Seeing through her stalling, the men were growing impatient.
"I'll come with you", Sally finally offered. "We shouldn't do it here, where the others may suffer."
"Very well."
So off Sally and the nameless men went, perhaps never to be seen or heard from again. Sally's magical asparagus pee was the secret to her immortality, and perhaps it would now be theirs too. However, there was a catch. The aroma of the immortality-granting asparagus urine was so pungent that it was capable of robbing anyone nearby of their consciousness. Perhaps she could use this as a weapon when they least expected and make a run for it. This was not the first escape Sally had made in her five centuries of existence, and these men seemed to have forgotten that vital piece of information. Good, she could use that to her advantage.
Ana and Jane never knew why Sally was late that night.