It probably won’t matter.
Its an emotion, its an action, its even an excuse.
It can be a force to be reckoned with; it destroys your mind, your heart, your soul.
It ruins trust, it ruins families.
Paranoia can be caused from actions in the past, either by you or to you.
Once gripped by these chains you become a prisoner to its shackles, desperately trying to confirm your suspicions are not true.
However, you can will what you're paranoid about into existence if you aren't careful.
It all starts with a sneaky reminder of what happened in the past followed with anxiety or even anger.
It evolves into overthinking and can lead to depression and major anxiety.
It makes you nauseous, sick, you begin to question yourself.
You may even tell yourself you're only being paranoid, that this feeling is just you turning crazy; you may try to shake it off, forget the feeling and find something to take your mind away;
Or you succumb to its power and begin your search to confirm your suspicions arent real.
There are three results that stem from your search.
1. You find absolutely nothing, you're relieved.
2. You find exactly what you're looking for, your paranoia was justified.
3. You will your paranoia into existence. (I.e. you accuse your significant other of cheating with someone, so they do)
Sadly all of these results end with broken trust.
Either your trust with them, or their trust with you then the cycle of paranoia doesn't just continue, it gets worse.
Your paranoid episodes happen more often and last longer.
If you itch a mosquito bite it becomes itchier and itchier, thus the more you scratch.
So you scratch and scratch and scratch until it bleeds and even then its still itchy.
You try to find a way around it, break the system perhaps; you use your fingertips instead of your nails.
You think "if only I can find a way to keep scratching at it somehow, maybe the itch will go away." It doesnt.
The only way to get this bite to stop itching is to ignore it completely.
But you'll never know if you were right or wrong.
But that probably doesn't matter.