Pen to the Paper 21: The Announcement
I felt the strong arms lift me up under my armpits and toss me out of the back of the van. I tried to stick my arms out to stop the fall, but they were tied behind my back. The black cloth over my face prevented me from seeing anything.
“Maybe that will teach you a lesson,” the man said. “Disrespect us like that again, and you’ll face worse consequences.”
I began laughing. “You think I’m scared? Your threats don’t scare me. You know who I am? I’m Caleb Pinnow, creator of Pen to the Paper, and I’m invincible!!! Not only that, but I have Nick, and Nick is cool.”
I shook my head violently, causing the cloth over my head to fall off. Getting a good look at the man in front of me, I started laughing hysterically. My face turned red and tears fell from my eyes.
“What’s so funny?”
“H—hold… on…” I said between laughs and gasps for air. Containing my laugh for a moment, I said, “If you want to be intimidating, you can’t skip leg day.” My voice grew more strained as laughter tried to creep its way out mid-sentence. “You… you… you fricken… chicken!” I managed to spurt out between bursts of laughter. “BAHAHAHAHAHA! My nephew looks more intimidating than you. Mind if I call you Heihei? You think Hafthor skips leg day? I’m gonna call you Chris Hemsworth ’cause he’s only half Thor with his bony legs.”
Furiously, Heihei the chicken-legged body-builder slammed the door shut and the black van drove off. It did not take long for Nick to come rushing out of the stadium to my side. He ripped the ropes off of my wrists and helped me to my feet.
“You good?” he asked, taking a wet rag that he had brought with him to wipe the blood off of the scars on my face.
“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. My money maker’ll heal quickly. Dude, you just missed it, though. You’ll never guess who was here.”
“Who?”
“Mr. Krabs.”
“You mean Clancy Brown?”
“No, no. The dude they sent with me to intimidate me? He skips leg day.”
Nick looked down at his own legs and said, “That hits a little too close to home, Caleb.”
“When’s the last time you skipped leg day? You look fine, man.”
“I skipped legs this morning, actually.”
“Well, the night is young. I’ll bring some popcorn and watch after the show. Now let’s get to the dressing room.”
After putting on my suit and covering some scars with make-up, Nick approached me with a letter in his hand. “You may want to read this,” he said.
“Read it to me.”
“ ‘Clearly, the kidnapping has proven entirely futile. Take this check, and say something positive.’ ”
“Nick, I’m no sell-out.”
“The amount may change your mind,” he said, passing me the check.
“WOW. Now that’s a lot of zeros.”
“Yep. Still not a sell-out?”
“Nope. Not a sell-out.”
*****
“Hellooooooo, everybody! Welcome to Pen to the Paper 21! Who is ready to hear who the winners are? You may be wondering why I’m late to getting this done. Well, I was kidna—I mean, I was spending some time at Buccee’s!!! Now, I want to take back everything that I said about them last week. Buccee’s is the greatest place on earth. There is always an open bathroom, finding an open gas pump is a breeze, and they have all sorts of food, both fresh and not-so-fresh. Did I mention the beef jerky bar? Now, I have yet to find the beef jerky bar, as I got lost last time I visited the station because of how big it is, but I am told that there exists a beef jerky bar. What was that? Is this an ad? Pffffft, nooooooo. You think I’m a sell-out? I would never! Not even if they gave me seven trillion dollars!
“Now, who’s ready to hear who won this thang?”
The crowd went haywire when I stopped talking about Buccee’s, the greatest gas station to ever exist and no I am not sponsored by them and no I am not holding a check from them for seven trillion dollars.
“Well, let’s get into it, shall we?
“Coming in third place, we have someone who often frequents Pen to the Paper frequently. Sydneyjay with their post, Pattern without rhyme: A not so free verse. I enjoyed the comparison here. Living without any rhyme, but loads of pattern. Waking up day-to-day, doing the same thing, performing the same routine, but not having the rhyme or reason with the pattern. It was enjoyable and thought provoking.
“Coming in second place, we have Raybug’s Mind Over Murder. You, my friend, almost made first place. This story had me wanting more at the end. I wanted to continue reading to find out what exactly the main character was going through. It was incredibly well written, and I sincerely hope you write more of the story. If you do, hunt me down and show me the rest of the story. You can find me in your local Buccee’s, curled up in a ball in the corner because of claustroph—I mean, eating a sandwich.
“Our first place winner is someone who often frequents Pen to the Paper more frequently than anyone else frequents it. It is truly habitual, and perhaps an addiction; our first place prize goes to—drumroll please—GLD! Forget was incredible! Thanks for posting, and I am looking forward to seeing you next month.
“Now for some honorable mentions.
“Roses311Sublime, you can tell Hypnorc that he is welcome to post anytime. If he creates an account and makes a submission, who knows, maybe his story or whatever he chooses to post will make it to the top three. Maybe he’ll win. But, for now, thank you, Roses, for posting. A Non-Hypnotic Suggestion was a fun read, as always.
“You guys should all check out Chris_Howe’s There’s more than one way to….. as it was a fun little read. And it mentions the ‘proper’ way to eat a banana.
“RosemarieThorne, your post, My World, was deep. Thanks for sharing!
“And how can I forget McDeviltoast’s Bots destroy everything? It was a fun read and oh-so-very relatable.
“Thank you guys for coming out tonight! This show tonight was totally and one hundred percent not sponsored by Buccee’s. They are just so great that I had to bring them up.”
At the bottom of the elevator, I rushed to Nick and grabbed the letter from his hand. “Quick! We need to cash this before they change their minds.”